Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Why are you telling me this?
All people are manipulators. We all want different things, we all have different opinions, we all have different plans, so we manipulate people to try to get our way. A lot of the time, it's harmless. I had a friend in college who would simply tell us what we were going to do that day: ie: We're going to the zoo and then out to Chili's. Most of the time, it was for our own good. The things she told us to do were fun and we might never have thought of them if she hadn't carefully steered us in a certain direction. Occasionally, there was a flop, but for the most part she wanted us (and herself) to be happy.
Some manipulation is used for evil, however. I belonged to a horrible campus religious group where the pastor manipulated all of us to get information to use against us later. If we went in to talk to her about having an eating disorder, she would tell us about the eating disorder she had had. If we went to talk to her about what it was like being black with sickle cell anemia, she'd been black with sickle cell as well (Note: She was most decidedly white). If we were a liberal Christian, so was she, or vis versa and so on and on. She did this to pit us against each other and eventually caused a lot of the people she differed with to leave the group.
A lot of fat shaming is manipulation. Here is an experience I've had with that.
X: Y told me that you need to go on a diet or you're going to die at 30.
When you hear something like that, your first reaction might be to get angry at Y. How dare they say something like that? But before you start plotting the death of Y, take a minute and ask yourself this question: "Why are you telling me this?"
Probably they are telling you for one of three reasons:
1. They may have that opinion themselves and are using Y as a scapegoat. Clues for that one might include accidentally slipping into first person (I... I mean she thinks you will get diabetes, etc), defending this person or using phrases like "I would never say that but..."
2. It could be that person X wants you to be angry with Y. Though you have a right to be angry with person Y, person X is manipulating you. They are taking something that bothers you and either lying about what someone else said or telling you information that you don't need to know to intentionally hurt you. Chances are if person Y really feels that way, they will let you know themselves and you will have the chance to defend yourself then. Clues that this may be the reason include saying things like "doesn't that make you angry?", "that's so typical of Y", or "what are you going to do about it?"
3. Person X might be telling you because they are proud of how they handled this behavior. Clues might include saying "after Y said that, I told him to fuck off" or "I told him that your body is your business" or "I taught her about HAES." While you probably didn't need to know how Y behaving, X may just be seeking your approval, which is mostly harmless.
I mentioned in Tuesday's post that a particular family member of my husbands kept mentioning to me about how many diets she had tried. At first I just tried to watch the TV and ignore her, but then I started to wonder why she was telling me this. When you bring up a diet in front of anyone, but especially in front of a fat person, you have to understand that what you are saying could be seen as a hint. It is possible that Mr. Sprat's grandmother was trying to convince me that I should start thinking about a diet. Or she may have figured that as a fat person I had been on them all myself and was simply trying to commiserate with me about how none of them work. I didn't ask because I didn't think it was worth possible awkwardness during the holidays, but if you find yourself in a situation like that, it might be helpful to simply ask them "why are you telling me this?"
Sometimes people spread rumors or talk about personal experiences because they truly want to process them and have some strong feelings about what has happened. And sometimes they are trying to manipulate you into feeling shame, anger or guilt. Taking a moment to stop and ask yourself and/or the person you are talking to "why are you asking me this" can help you to avoid those negative feelings and understand people's true motivations.
Some manipulation is used for evil, however. I belonged to a horrible campus religious group where the pastor manipulated all of us to get information to use against us later. If we went in to talk to her about having an eating disorder, she would tell us about the eating disorder she had had. If we went to talk to her about what it was like being black with sickle cell anemia, she'd been black with sickle cell as well (Note: She was most decidedly white). If we were a liberal Christian, so was she, or vis versa and so on and on. She did this to pit us against each other and eventually caused a lot of the people she differed with to leave the group.
A lot of fat shaming is manipulation. Here is an experience I've had with that.
X: Y told me that you need to go on a diet or you're going to die at 30.
When you hear something like that, your first reaction might be to get angry at Y. How dare they say something like that? But before you start plotting the death of Y, take a minute and ask yourself this question: "Why are you telling me this?"
Probably they are telling you for one of three reasons:
1. They may have that opinion themselves and are using Y as a scapegoat. Clues for that one might include accidentally slipping into first person (I... I mean she thinks you will get diabetes, etc), defending this person or using phrases like "I would never say that but..."
2. It could be that person X wants you to be angry with Y. Though you have a right to be angry with person Y, person X is manipulating you. They are taking something that bothers you and either lying about what someone else said or telling you information that you don't need to know to intentionally hurt you. Chances are if person Y really feels that way, they will let you know themselves and you will have the chance to defend yourself then. Clues that this may be the reason include saying things like "doesn't that make you angry?", "that's so typical of Y", or "what are you going to do about it?"
3. Person X might be telling you because they are proud of how they handled this behavior. Clues might include saying "after Y said that, I told him to fuck off" or "I told him that your body is your business" or "I taught her about HAES." While you probably didn't need to know how Y behaving, X may just be seeking your approval, which is mostly harmless.
I mentioned in Tuesday's post that a particular family member of my husbands kept mentioning to me about how many diets she had tried. At first I just tried to watch the TV and ignore her, but then I started to wonder why she was telling me this. When you bring up a diet in front of anyone, but especially in front of a fat person, you have to understand that what you are saying could be seen as a hint. It is possible that Mr. Sprat's grandmother was trying to convince me that I should start thinking about a diet. Or she may have figured that as a fat person I had been on them all myself and was simply trying to commiserate with me about how none of them work. I didn't ask because I didn't think it was worth possible awkwardness during the holidays, but if you find yourself in a situation like that, it might be helpful to simply ask them "why are you telling me this?"
Sometimes people spread rumors or talk about personal experiences because they truly want to process them and have some strong feelings about what has happened. And sometimes they are trying to manipulate you into feeling shame, anger or guilt. Taking a moment to stop and ask yourself and/or the person you are talking to "why are you asking me this" can help you to avoid those negative feelings and understand people's true motivations.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Mixed Messages
Going to visit family over the holidays always seems to provide fodder for my blog. This year, it's gotten me thinking about mixed messages. The diet industry thrives on mixed messages; anything that is both so widespread and so incredibly unsuccessful would have to. If we spend $60 billion dollars a year (and we do) on something that has a 5% success rate (and it does), there has to be a lot of cognitive dissonance going on here.
While visiting Mr. Sprat's extended family over New Year's, a lot of food was offered to us. This year we committed ourselves ahead of time to follow the basic tenets of intuitive eating: Eat only when you are hungry, only the foods you want to eat, and stop when you are full. It was difficult to say the least. Guilt was liberally heaped onto most meals. Grandma would try to push the last piece on us (mostly on Mr. Sprat, to be fair, which is a whole other problem.) She would tell him how it would go to waste, and say "just one more, just one more." When we suggested refrigerating leftovers, we were met with frustration and eventually surrender.
During the same trip, we were also met with the most diet talk we had encountered during the holidays. Mostly, everyone was surprisingly well-behaved when it came to the subject of dieting, which was quite a relief. However, minutes after being told that our food would go to the birds if we did not eat it (more guilt), we would hear stories about different diets that they had tried, people they know who lost weight and looked "so much better," and how "good" they had been during or after the very same meal that we were pressured to finish for them.
When we are children we are taught that certain foods are bad, they are junk. Then when we get an A on a report card or celebrate a birthday, those "bad" foods are give to us as a reward. How confusing is that? We are told to clear our plate because of starving children, but if we want seconds or a snack later, we are told that we are bad.
Diet commercials use the same mixed messages. In a Weight Watchers commercial this year (which played every single commercial break on New Years Eve, and I believe sponsored whatever it was that we were watching as well) Jennifer Hudson sings about freedom. Weight Watchers brings freedom? Having to go to weekly meetings, count out all your food, keep track of everything you eat online, looking up menus before going to restaurants to make sure there is something you can eat? How is that freedom? Are we becoming free from stigma by going on diets? Diets don't work, chances are you will be fatter and even more oppressed when you finish this round of dieting. And even if you do manage to lose weight, are you free then? What happens if you aren't thin enough? What if you stop going to meetings? What if people find out you used to be fat? Does the stigma ever really end? What freedom are they promising us?
These double messages are so harmful. Being told that certain foods are "bad" and then being given them as rewards leads to confusion, guilt and shame. Being commanded to "clear your plate" to the point of feeling stuffed or sick, and then being criticized for your size has the same effect and can also cause you to lose the ability to know when you are full. If we stop giving these messages at home, then they will seem more obviously ridiculous when coming from Weight Watchers or some other diet company. We need to let our family and friends eat in a way that works for them, a way that comes from within. If we can do that, then the cycle of guilt and shame surrounding food can finally end.
While visiting Mr. Sprat's extended family over New Year's, a lot of food was offered to us. This year we committed ourselves ahead of time to follow the basic tenets of intuitive eating: Eat only when you are hungry, only the foods you want to eat, and stop when you are full. It was difficult to say the least. Guilt was liberally heaped onto most meals. Grandma would try to push the last piece on us (mostly on Mr. Sprat, to be fair, which is a whole other problem.) She would tell him how it would go to waste, and say "just one more, just one more." When we suggested refrigerating leftovers, we were met with frustration and eventually surrender.
During the same trip, we were also met with the most diet talk we had encountered during the holidays. Mostly, everyone was surprisingly well-behaved when it came to the subject of dieting, which was quite a relief. However, minutes after being told that our food would go to the birds if we did not eat it (more guilt), we would hear stories about different diets that they had tried, people they know who lost weight and looked "so much better," and how "good" they had been during or after the very same meal that we were pressured to finish for them.
When we are children we are taught that certain foods are bad, they are junk. Then when we get an A on a report card or celebrate a birthday, those "bad" foods are give to us as a reward. How confusing is that? We are told to clear our plate because of starving children, but if we want seconds or a snack later, we are told that we are bad.
Diet commercials use the same mixed messages. In a Weight Watchers commercial this year (which played every single commercial break on New Years Eve, and I believe sponsored whatever it was that we were watching as well) Jennifer Hudson sings about freedom. Weight Watchers brings freedom? Having to go to weekly meetings, count out all your food, keep track of everything you eat online, looking up menus before going to restaurants to make sure there is something you can eat? How is that freedom? Are we becoming free from stigma by going on diets? Diets don't work, chances are you will be fatter and even more oppressed when you finish this round of dieting. And even if you do manage to lose weight, are you free then? What happens if you aren't thin enough? What if you stop going to meetings? What if people find out you used to be fat? Does the stigma ever really end? What freedom are they promising us?
These double messages are so harmful. Being told that certain foods are "bad" and then being given them as rewards leads to confusion, guilt and shame. Being commanded to "clear your plate" to the point of feeling stuffed or sick, and then being criticized for your size has the same effect and can also cause you to lose the ability to know when you are full. If we stop giving these messages at home, then they will seem more obviously ridiculous when coming from Weight Watchers or some other diet company. We need to let our family and friends eat in a way that works for them, a way that comes from within. If we can do that, then the cycle of guilt and shame surrounding food can finally end.
Friday, October 21, 2011
Fat Fashion 12
Just a quick OOTD, my camera was a little wonky, sorry about the quality.
Cardigan: Avenue
Tank/Skirt/Leggings: Old Navy
Shoes: Marshalls
Jewelry: JC Penney
I love these open-front cardigans, they are so great to wear over just about everything. The skirt is kind of hard to see, it actually is more a-line than it looks, the tank just kind of pressed it down. I like to wear this skirt with a tucked in shirt as well and a cardi over it to show off the skirt more. I'll try to get some better quality pics for the next one!
Have a great weekend!
~Mrs. Sprat
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
20 Things You Can Do To Love Your Body
In honor of Love Your Body Day, here are 20 things you can do to love your body everyday! Feel free to add more in the comments.
1. Wear clothes based on how they feel, not (necessarily) how they look.
2. Get as much sleep as your body needs. (8 hours is a general rule, some people need more, some less.)
3. Get a new haircut (or shave your head!)
4. Dance!
5. Eat foods that you love (no guilt!)
6. Get a massage
7. Soak your feet
8. Buy a new outfit that people your size "aren't supposed to wear" and wear it proudly!
9. Go swimming (or play field hockey or do yoga or take a long walk and look at the leaves change colors)
10. Have dessert!
11. Take up belly dancing (or swing dancing or square dancing or pole dancing....)
12. Snuggle in your favorite chair with a good book
13. Show off your scars, they are a part of who you are
14. Tell the face in the mirror that you love him or her
15. Have sex!
16. Cook a meal from scratch
17. Go without makeup for a day
18. Take a long, relaxing shower or bath
19. Masturbate!
20. Thank your body for all the amazing things that it has done in the past and all the amazing things it will do in the future.
Have a great Love Your Body Day!
~Mrs. Sprat
1. Wear clothes based on how they feel, not (necessarily) how they look.
2. Get as much sleep as your body needs. (8 hours is a general rule, some people need more, some less.)
3. Get a new haircut (or shave your head!)
4. Dance!
5. Eat foods that you love (no guilt!)
6. Get a massage
7. Soak your feet
8. Buy a new outfit that people your size "aren't supposed to wear" and wear it proudly!
9. Go swimming (or play field hockey or do yoga or take a long walk and look at the leaves change colors)
10. Have dessert!
11. Take up belly dancing (or swing dancing or square dancing or pole dancing....)
12. Snuggle in your favorite chair with a good book
13. Show off your scars, they are a part of who you are
14. Tell the face in the mirror that you love him or her
15. Have sex!
16. Cook a meal from scratch
17. Go without makeup for a day
18. Take a long, relaxing shower or bath
19. Masturbate!
20. Thank your body for all the amazing things that it has done in the past and all the amazing things it will do in the future.
Have a great Love Your Body Day!
~Mrs. Sprat
Monday, October 17, 2011
Fats in Action
Hi everyone!
I am going to be participating in a charity walk for Lupus in a couple of weeks. I know October is Breast Cancer month, but if you have a little bit left to give, it would be greatly appreciated. Lupus affects thousands of people and has no known cure. My husband's mother passed away from lupus-related complications when he was a boy. Anything you can give would be great and would also be supporting a fat walk participant!
http://www.active.com/donate/lupusloop2011/KGainor1
Thanks everyone!
~Mrs. Sprat
I am going to be participating in a charity walk for Lupus in a couple of weeks. I know October is Breast Cancer month, but if you have a little bit left to give, it would be greatly appreciated. Lupus affects thousands of people and has no known cure. My husband's mother passed away from lupus-related complications when he was a boy. Anything you can give would be great and would also be supporting a fat walk participant!
http://www.active.com/donate/lupusloop2011/KGainor1
Thanks everyone!
~Mrs. Sprat
Friday, October 7, 2011
Fat Fashion Friday 11
Finally, a return to fatshion!
Hat- J.C. Penney's
Poncho- Fashion Bug (Loop 18)
Long Sleeve T- Old Navy
Jeans- Old Navy
Boots- Rainbow
Earrings- Claire's
First off, the poncho. Not my colors, not even my style but this shirt is made of such a soft sweater/sweatshirt kind of a material that when I tried it on I loved it. That being said, it's pilling already after two wearings! Fashion Bug now carries a junior plus section called Loop 18 which has some great pieces, definitely worth checking out. And speaking of soft, the long sleeve T I am wearing is from Old Navy and again, it's super soft and comfy and comes in lots of colors. I bought this in the "straight" sizes but they have similar ones online up to 4X.
The boots. I have never had knee length boots, ever. I went to Avenue a few weeks ago and tried on a pair of their wide-calf boots and they STILL weren't wide enough for my giant calves of DOOM! But on a whim I went into Rainbow, after falling in love with these in the window and low and behold, they actually fit. Sadly, they too are deteriorating after only a few wearings, but I will wear them until they are THREADS, since I've never been able to buy boots like these before.
Happy fall, everyone! Have a great weekend!
~Mrs. Sprat
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Women as Gatekeepers
Sorry for the lack of posting, school has officially started and the way my classes are structured means a lot of work now, but a lot less after Nov 1.
In class a couple of weekends ago, one of my fellow students brought up a study that indicates that men in committed relationships live longer than their single counterparts. She "proved" this to be true by telling us what her boyfriend wants to eat vs. what she makes him eat.
We have seen this a lot before: Hillary Clinton was blamed for Bill Clinton's weight gain during his presidency and charged with getting him to lose weight and eat "better." Michelle Obama not only puts her children on very public diets but also has to control the President's eating as well. Even in my own family, my in-laws make comments such as "she feeds you well" while looking at Mr. Sprat's protruding belly, etc.
Let's take a step back and remember that these are grown men we are talking about. Grown men do not need women to "feed them." Plain and simple. Men are just as capable at making food choices as women are. Granted, because of the diet culture in this country, neither are really fully equipped, but that still proves my point. A man who eats nothing but pizza is no worse off than a man who's wife makes him eat nothing but salads.
But this is not new ground, we've discussed this before. Women are seen as gatekeepers. As with sexuality (delaying intercourse), women are socialized to believe that they have to take care of a man and make sure that he doesn't do anything reckless, in addition to taking care of herself.
What really got me angry though, was the assumption that it was dietary choices that led the married men to live longer. Again, we see the conflation of eating and health. A person who eats certain foods will not live as long as those who abstain, and since it is the wife's job to control these eating habits, she is charged with his life.
Maybe the reason the partnered men lived longer is because of the effects of love on brain chemistry. Maybe it is because routine is comforting or somehow safer. Maybe (though I personally find this dubious as well) it is because they are less likely to contract an STD. Maybe the study was poorly conducted and all the partnered people in it also shared similar socioeconomic backgrounds or other factors. Or maybe, men who live longer are more likely to get married and not the other way around. Any way you look at it, diet is just one possibility in why the study turned out the way it did.
I don't know. I haven't read the study, though I've heard it mentioned a number of times, always to prove a different point. I only know what I heard, which was more conflating weight and food choices with health and more affirming of women as gatekeepers, who must protect men from everything from sex to food, while simultaneously protecting themselves. Those roles are not good for men and they certainly aren't very good for women either. Couples need to support each other in however they choose to eat and single people should not be shamed into relationships to prevent death. If everyone were more confident on how to feed themselves, the diet industry would have much less of a hold on people and that would be a wonderful thing.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
This Cannot Happen
I have been watching this story for a few days now in disbelief. A loving family, torn apart because the parents and children share fatness as one of their traits. There are so many children already in foster care and up for adoption who will NEVER FIND PARENTS and rather than seeking out a home for those, people are removing children from their families because of weight stigma. This is a disgrace. If you would like to do something about this here are the links to some of the officers involved in this case. It is only a matter of time before this starts happening right here in the US.
Dundee County chief executive David Dorward: david.dorward@dundeecity.gov.uk.
Dundee County public relations head Les Roy: les.roy@dundeecity.gov.uk
Dundee County education director Michael Wood: michael.wood@dundeecity.gov.uk
Dundee County Social Services direct Alan G. Baird: alan.baird@dundeecity.gov.uk
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Fat Sex Tip #9- Erogenous Zones
You've just put your kids to bed for the night. The dishes are done. The homework and schoolwork and projects are done. You actually don't feel tired, for once. Suddenly you understand that you and your partner are having sex, come hell or high-water--or hopefully--you. So what do you do? Make a mad dash for the genitals and hope none of the kids wake up before you both finish?
It happens to everyone. We get to know a partner and we know what turns them on and how long we need to do it before we both have an orgasm and can go to sleep. Sometimes there just isn't time for exploring. Sometimes exploring can be frustrating when it doesn't work or embarrasses someone or takes precious minutes away from the act.
It can be important, therefore, to remember that the penis and the clitoris or vagina are not the only things that feel good when they are touched. Even the so-called "erogenous zones" can be limiting. Ears, feet, inner elbows and knees and necks are the more common areas associated with erotic touching. However anywhere, when touched in a certain way (and depending on the person), can feel delightful, just as delightful as a nice blow job or eight minutes of intercourse.
Fat people have a special advantage, in that we have an even larger canvas for sexual expression. Extra fat on arms, knobs on knees, thick, full thighs: All of these can be erogenous for some people. Spots under fat, such as under your belly roll or under breasts often have thinner, very sensitive skin that feels amazing when touched, stroked, tickled or licked. Even fat rolls on a persons back can feel amazing when sucked, and can be a great experience for the person doing the sucking as well. (As a side note, heads can also feel amazing when touched, especially recently shaved heads, wink wink.)
If a person loves you and/or is sexually interested in you, they are interested in all of you. Pretending that your fat isn't there doesn't make it go away, so you might as well use it to your advantage. When my husband and I first started sleeping together, we didn't talk about my belly because it made me uncomfortable; we mostly pretended it wasn't there. What I didn't know was that it turned him on and he wanted to explore it in the same way that he explored the rest of my body. Once I was able to let go of belly shame, it became another way that we could express our feelings for each other.
Sex shouldn't be about limiting yourself to one area or one position or one act. It should be about safely exploring all the wonderful things your body can do for itself and for others. So next time you are in bed, take a minute to try sucking on a fat roll or groping a belly bump. Great fat sex can only be accomplished if you can learn to let go of your hang-ups and take hold of your fat.
It happens to everyone. We get to know a partner and we know what turns them on and how long we need to do it before we both have an orgasm and can go to sleep. Sometimes there just isn't time for exploring. Sometimes exploring can be frustrating when it doesn't work or embarrasses someone or takes precious minutes away from the act.
It can be important, therefore, to remember that the penis and the clitoris or vagina are not the only things that feel good when they are touched. Even the so-called "erogenous zones" can be limiting. Ears, feet, inner elbows and knees and necks are the more common areas associated with erotic touching. However anywhere, when touched in a certain way (and depending on the person), can feel delightful, just as delightful as a nice blow job or eight minutes of intercourse.
Fat people have a special advantage, in that we have an even larger canvas for sexual expression. Extra fat on arms, knobs on knees, thick, full thighs: All of these can be erogenous for some people. Spots under fat, such as under your belly roll or under breasts often have thinner, very sensitive skin that feels amazing when touched, stroked, tickled or licked. Even fat rolls on a persons back can feel amazing when sucked, and can be a great experience for the person doing the sucking as well. (As a side note, heads can also feel amazing when touched, especially recently shaved heads, wink wink.)
If a person loves you and/or is sexually interested in you, they are interested in all of you. Pretending that your fat isn't there doesn't make it go away, so you might as well use it to your advantage. When my husband and I first started sleeping together, we didn't talk about my belly because it made me uncomfortable; we mostly pretended it wasn't there. What I didn't know was that it turned him on and he wanted to explore it in the same way that he explored the rest of my body. Once I was able to let go of belly shame, it became another way that we could express our feelings for each other.
Sex shouldn't be about limiting yourself to one area or one position or one act. It should be about safely exploring all the wonderful things your body can do for itself and for others. So next time you are in bed, take a minute to try sucking on a fat roll or groping a belly bump. Great fat sex can only be accomplished if you can learn to let go of your hang-ups and take hold of your fat.
Friday, August 19, 2011
Poem from NAAFA
(Dedicated to my mother, who has come a long way. Her journey means so much. )
Home
"Why don't you cover those up?"
My mother says.
She means my arms- a shawl
She means my scars- concealer
She means my chins- long hair
She means me.
She means her.
But I will not tack aluminum siding on my house.
I will not devalue my body.
Because this is my home.
This is the scar from the chicken warmer,
The scars from a thousand bug-bites,
The scars from knives and screws
and yes, the scars from you, mom.
This is my fat from living
My fat from genetics
My fat from Dad and Grandpa
and yes, this is my fat from you, mom.
This is my landscape:
My freshly cut lawn,
My patterns and shapes,
My additions over time.
New rooms, new room.
This is my home.
You laid my foundation, mom. Yes, I know.
But you have to let me take it the rest of the way.
To let me build walls and paint and decorate.
Because this is my home, and I
like living here.
Because of my past renovations
and in hope of my future.
Home
"Why don't you cover those up?"
My mother says.
She means my arms- a shawl
She means my scars- concealer
She means my chins- long hair
She means me.
She means her.
But I will not tack aluminum siding on my house.
I will not devalue my body.
Because this is my home.
This is the scar from the chicken warmer,
The scars from a thousand bug-bites,
The scars from knives and screws
and yes, the scars from you, mom.
This is my fat from living
My fat from genetics
My fat from Dad and Grandpa
and yes, this is my fat from you, mom.
This is my landscape:
My freshly cut lawn,
My patterns and shapes,
My additions over time.
New rooms, new room.
This is my home.
You laid my foundation, mom. Yes, I know.
But you have to let me take it the rest of the way.
To let me build walls and paint and decorate.
Because this is my home, and I
like living here.
Because of my past renovations
and in hope of my future.
Monday, August 15, 2011
NAAFA Convention Day 3: Advocacy and Poetry
Thank you all for sticking with me through my journey to NAAFA and back! Day three kicked off, for me, with a workshop about child advocacy. NAAFA has created a Child Advocacy Toolkit (available here) to help educators and other professionals shift from "fighting childhood obesity" to teaching HAES based principles including intuitive eating and joyful movement. In the workshop, we heard from several presenters about how the so-called "war on childhood obesity" started and what is and isn't true about it. The first part of the presentation was particularly well-executed in that it summarized the facts and fictions surrounding this war in a simple, non-threatening way that I think would be really useful for people who are new to fat acceptance and may have some reservations. The panel also reviewed what the consequences are for a weight-based approach, both in terms of health and in terms of bullying.
Later in the day, I attended a poetry workshop called Fat Poets' Society. I have to admit that I wrote a lot of poetry when I was in high school and as an undergraduate, but after I left Cornell, I pretty much stopped writing altogether. There are a lot of reasons why (too busy trying to make ends meet, not angsty and love-lorn anymore, etc.) but I always wanted to keep writing, I just felt that blogging and creative non-fiction were more my strong suits. But I decided to go anyway and I'm really glad that I did. We talked about using poetry as a means of being an activist and how writing body-positive poetry can be a radical thing to do. It is easy to forget that poetry isn't just about love and pretty-sounding words, but that it can also have political goals. We read some poetry and then we had some time to sit down and write, and then share what we had written. It was such a moving experience, getting to hear different women's experiences with their bodies and with each others' bodies. And it made me realize that my relationship with poetry is not over yet, so somehow, I'm going to find the time to start writing again!*
That evening was the NAAFA Talent Show! Before we could get up there and show off our various talents, we did some karaoke to get us all warmed up. It was great seeing fat people up in the spotlight--willing to put themselves out there--because they felt so brave, confident and safe. I don't think I've ever done karaoke before, but I couldn't resist with a crowd so accepting. The talent show was just an extension of that safe feeling. People sang, performed poetry and spoken word pieces, and of course, the classic fortuneteller act! I was fortunate enough to be convinced by a friend to recite some of my own poetry, including a piece I had written that day at the workshop! It was great seeing how talented all my new friends really are, and how comfortable they were sharing their work with us.
The talent show was followed by a film festival. I only caught the first film, The Fat Body (In)Visible, but it was a great piece that followed two women who had met on the Livejournal Fatshionista community, so it was exciting to get to see the blogging community represented at the conference. The movie also contained pictures from the Adipositivity Project, which was great to see put to music up on the big screen.
Monday morning, I had to head back to the real world (sadly) but several members of NAAFA stayed on to lobby on Capitol Hill for the inclusion of bullying based on weight to the current anti-bullying legislature going through Congress. Members of the board gave a press conference that was covered by C-Span and the story was also picked up by CNN's website. Please check out both links to see NAAFA in action trying to end weight-based bullying in our schools.
All in all, my first NAAFA conference was a huge success. It was so empowering to be surrounded by smart, talented, dedicated fat people who want to make the same change in the world as I do. I feel much stronger in my beliefs and much more confident as a blogger, activist and fat person than before I went. Best of all, I made some great new friends to share the journey with me. Thank you NAAFA, see you in San Francisco next year!
*You can purchase the first publication by the Fat Poets' Society at amazon.com.
Later in the day, I attended a poetry workshop called Fat Poets' Society. I have to admit that I wrote a lot of poetry when I was in high school and as an undergraduate, but after I left Cornell, I pretty much stopped writing altogether. There are a lot of reasons why (too busy trying to make ends meet, not angsty and love-lorn anymore, etc.) but I always wanted to keep writing, I just felt that blogging and creative non-fiction were more my strong suits. But I decided to go anyway and I'm really glad that I did. We talked about using poetry as a means of being an activist and how writing body-positive poetry can be a radical thing to do. It is easy to forget that poetry isn't just about love and pretty-sounding words, but that it can also have political goals. We read some poetry and then we had some time to sit down and write, and then share what we had written. It was such a moving experience, getting to hear different women's experiences with their bodies and with each others' bodies. And it made me realize that my relationship with poetry is not over yet, so somehow, I'm going to find the time to start writing again!*
That evening was the NAAFA Talent Show! Before we could get up there and show off our various talents, we did some karaoke to get us all warmed up. It was great seeing fat people up in the spotlight--willing to put themselves out there--because they felt so brave, confident and safe. I don't think I've ever done karaoke before, but I couldn't resist with a crowd so accepting. The talent show was just an extension of that safe feeling. People sang, performed poetry and spoken word pieces, and of course, the classic fortuneteller act! I was fortunate enough to be convinced by a friend to recite some of my own poetry, including a piece I had written that day at the workshop! It was great seeing how talented all my new friends really are, and how comfortable they were sharing their work with us.
The talent show was followed by a film festival. I only caught the first film, The Fat Body (In)Visible, but it was a great piece that followed two women who had met on the Livejournal Fatshionista community, so it was exciting to get to see the blogging community represented at the conference. The movie also contained pictures from the Adipositivity Project, which was great to see put to music up on the big screen.
Monday morning, I had to head back to the real world (sadly) but several members of NAAFA stayed on to lobby on Capitol Hill for the inclusion of bullying based on weight to the current anti-bullying legislature going through Congress. Members of the board gave a press conference that was covered by C-Span and the story was also picked up by CNN's website. Please check out both links to see NAAFA in action trying to end weight-based bullying in our schools.
All in all, my first NAAFA conference was a huge success. It was so empowering to be surrounded by smart, talented, dedicated fat people who want to make the same change in the world as I do. I feel much stronger in my beliefs and much more confident as a blogger, activist and fat person than before I went. Best of all, I made some great new friends to share the journey with me. Thank you NAAFA, see you in San Francisco next year!
*You can purchase the first publication by the Fat Poets' Society at amazon.com.
Friday, August 12, 2011
NAAFA Convention 2011: Day 2 Sex and Fashion
Day two of the NAAFA convention started, for me, with a workshop about fat admirers. One of my classmates was on a panel discussion about both men and women who find they are attracted to fat partners. First, we talked in separate groups (all the males and all the females) and then came together to share what we had learned. It was interesting to hear everyone's take on the concept of being an FA and to really talk about the elephant in the room for much of the conference: The thin, male FA's who mostly attended the evening social events. There was enough in that workshop to generate an entire blog post, which I will do at some point but for the sake of telling you about NAAFA I will try to keep it short.
It seems to me that two types of FA's emerged. One group were the men who attended the workshops, talked to the women and seem to support our cause. The other group consisted of basically silent men, who did not attend the workshops and made a lot of the women feel uncomfortable when they were hanging around the dances. It's a shame the second group didn't come to the FA workshop, I would really have liked to hear from them. I think the same two categories can be applied to the so-called "normal" men who like thin women. Some of the FA's were there because they really support our goals and maybe already have a fat partner or had one in the past and want to be a part of our culture. The others were objectifying us and only wanted us for our bodies, or for sex. Or maybe it is just that they are so shy from years of being told they were freaks by the other boys that they were too afraid to talk to us. I hope if that is the case, that we can continue to have a workshop like this so that maybe they can feel brave enough to come and help us understand them.
It was also interesting to discuss the concept of a female FA, an idea that was new to me. In our society, it is hard to imagine female FA's because being fat for a man and being fat for a woman is such a different experience. Often the only time a fat character is on a TV show is the fat husband of a thin wife. It is acceptable in a certain way so it doesn't have a name like FA's do (The "abnormal" thing is always named before the "normal." Homosexual came before heterosexual, trans came before cis, etc.) With women who like fat women, again, it is not seen as unusual because there is this idea of a different beauty standard among lesbians due to their (relative) freedom from the wants of men. Finally, all of the women at the seminar were fat (not surprisingly due to the audience.) so there is also this unspoken idea that a fat women couldn't be with a thin partner. Of course fat women would be with fat men because "it's all they can get." What would have happened if one of the women in the group said she exclusively liked thin men or women, I wonder. Would she be a traitor, or just have her own taste like the FA's? What do you guys think?
Following the FA/FFA workshop, I attended a diversity workshop focused on how to get other kinds of people to join NAAFA and participate in our events. I liked the workshop because it was goal-oriented and involved us breaking into small groups and working together. Being randomly paired with some of the NAAFA members (including the chair of the board) helped me get to know more people than my convention clique as it were, and get to throw some ideas out there. Some of the material we discussed is already in the works!
Saturday night meant it was time for the fashion show. It was a great experience getting to model! What a thrill to do my big, fat turn on the catwalk, to the screaming NAAFA members, and in a VERY expensive dress by the designer Toula. I also modeled for Ashaki Charles designs, a dress much closer to my own clothing budget. It was so empowering to strut my stuff with all my new friends and help bring in some money for NAAFA by auctioning off some of the pieces. I am hoping that SOMEONE took pictures so that I can post them here (850 dollar dress, how's that for an OOTD?!)
After the auction there was more dancing, including several men and women with limited mobility taking scooters and chairs up to the dance floor so they could join in on the fun! I personally had used up all my moves during the fashion show so I had a nice, quiet talk with a new friend and then went to the pool party.
The last time I'd worn a two-piece bathing suit was probably my 4th birthday party so I knew it was time to get a bikini for the conference. It was so much fun to wear what I wanted instead of what I was "supposed to." And it was so nice to be surrounded by supportive people who all told me I looked amazing, instead of telling me how I can minimize myself. It was also really inspiring to see other people, bigger than me, smaller than me, whatever, all wearing their bathing suits proudly and having a blast!
Talk about an empowering day: Discussing sexuality, working with the NAAFA members on diversity ideas, strutting my stuff at a fashion show, watching everyone exercise their right to dance and sporting my two-piece with a bunch of rad fatties! What a day!
It seems to me that two types of FA's emerged. One group were the men who attended the workshops, talked to the women and seem to support our cause. The other group consisted of basically silent men, who did not attend the workshops and made a lot of the women feel uncomfortable when they were hanging around the dances. It's a shame the second group didn't come to the FA workshop, I would really have liked to hear from them. I think the same two categories can be applied to the so-called "normal" men who like thin women. Some of the FA's were there because they really support our goals and maybe already have a fat partner or had one in the past and want to be a part of our culture. The others were objectifying us and only wanted us for our bodies, or for sex. Or maybe it is just that they are so shy from years of being told they were freaks by the other boys that they were too afraid to talk to us. I hope if that is the case, that we can continue to have a workshop like this so that maybe they can feel brave enough to come and help us understand them.
It was also interesting to discuss the concept of a female FA, an idea that was new to me. In our society, it is hard to imagine female FA's because being fat for a man and being fat for a woman is such a different experience. Often the only time a fat character is on a TV show is the fat husband of a thin wife. It is acceptable in a certain way so it doesn't have a name like FA's do (The "abnormal" thing is always named before the "normal." Homosexual came before heterosexual, trans came before cis, etc.) With women who like fat women, again, it is not seen as unusual because there is this idea of a different beauty standard among lesbians due to their (relative) freedom from the wants of men. Finally, all of the women at the seminar were fat (not surprisingly due to the audience.) so there is also this unspoken idea that a fat women couldn't be with a thin partner. Of course fat women would be with fat men because "it's all they can get." What would have happened if one of the women in the group said she exclusively liked thin men or women, I wonder. Would she be a traitor, or just have her own taste like the FA's? What do you guys think?
Following the FA/FFA workshop, I attended a diversity workshop focused on how to get other kinds of people to join NAAFA and participate in our events. I liked the workshop because it was goal-oriented and involved us breaking into small groups and working together. Being randomly paired with some of the NAAFA members (including the chair of the board) helped me get to know more people than my convention clique as it were, and get to throw some ideas out there. Some of the material we discussed is already in the works!
Saturday night meant it was time for the fashion show. It was a great experience getting to model! What a thrill to do my big, fat turn on the catwalk, to the screaming NAAFA members, and in a VERY expensive dress by the designer Toula. I also modeled for Ashaki Charles designs, a dress much closer to my own clothing budget. It was so empowering to strut my stuff with all my new friends and help bring in some money for NAAFA by auctioning off some of the pieces. I am hoping that SOMEONE took pictures so that I can post them here (850 dollar dress, how's that for an OOTD?!)
After the auction there was more dancing, including several men and women with limited mobility taking scooters and chairs up to the dance floor so they could join in on the fun! I personally had used up all my moves during the fashion show so I had a nice, quiet talk with a new friend and then went to the pool party.
The last time I'd worn a two-piece bathing suit was probably my 4th birthday party so I knew it was time to get a bikini for the conference. It was so much fun to wear what I wanted instead of what I was "supposed to." And it was so nice to be surrounded by supportive people who all told me I looked amazing, instead of telling me how I can minimize myself. It was also really inspiring to see other people, bigger than me, smaller than me, whatever, all wearing their bathing suits proudly and having a blast!
Talk about an empowering day: Discussing sexuality, working with the NAAFA members on diversity ideas, strutting my stuff at a fashion show, watching everyone exercise their right to dance and sporting my two-piece with a bunch of rad fatties! What a day!
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
NAAFA Convention 2011: Day 1 Boundaries and Booties!
NAAFA's 2011 conference took place from August 4-8 at The Westin Hotel in Herndon, VA. The 4th was just a day for registration and mingling, so I won't cover it in great detail here, but suffice it to say, by Thursday night, I could already tell that I was going to make lasting friendships and maybe even change my life.
Friday morning started early with a session of Water Aerobics with Melissa. I had never done Water Aerobics so I braved 8AM to give it a try. It was wonderful to be surrounded by fat women of all ages, all active and enjoying the use of their bodies. It was also very refreshing to be with an instructor who encouraged us to test our limits but also to know our limits and take it easy when we needed to. There was none of that "no pain, no gain" mentality and it made the whole experience very positive. Having a fat instructor was also helpful because she was sensitive to our concerns and had a lot of useful tips to adjust our workouts as necessary. I just wish I could convince my apartment complex to do water aerobics classes so I can keep learning!
The next workshop I attended was called Tending Boundaries with the Fat Fitness guru, Kelly Bliss. Kelly taught us a basic three-step procedure for how to tend your boundaries with loved ones, doctors and other people who feel they need to make "suggestions" regarding your health. The three steps are to say:
1. I know you are concerned.
2. I am already doing something to address your concern (HAES, self-esteem work, etc.)
3. We can't talk about this or
you are not welcome to comment on ________.
I found that it was a useful framework because it shows that you are listening to the person, it addresses their concerns (yes I am fat, thank you for noticing) and it stops the conversation from going any further, ie turning into a screaming match. She also talked about how after an altercation you should speak out loud(even if it is only to yourself) all the things you wanted to say to the person. Even if you only say it to yourself, it can be very helpful to get it out of your head and into your experiences. We tried it with a few recent events in our lives and it really did make us feel better. Kelly likened it to how when you watch a scary movie you still get scared even though you know it's not real. You will still feel some closure by standing up for yourself even if the other person never hears it.
The next workshop I attended was a social media workshop. Mostly it was geared towards older people experimenting with social media for the first time so it wasn't especially useful to me but I am looking into Linkedin and Tweetdeck as a result so some good did come from it.
Following the social media workshop was a quick meeting for the fashion show (more on that tomorrow) and then off to a lovely buffet dinner and dance party with all my new friends. Friday night's dance was probably one of the most positive experiences of my life. From small things, like getting back in the buffet line and not getting a glare from a single person at the table, to some bigger more life-changing events.
When the dancing got underway, I was right there on the dance floor strutting my stuff. I felt amazing, confident, happy and sexy. As we were dancing, one of the women slipped on her shoe and fell. We all stopped. One of my good friends from the conference went over to make sure she was okay. She said she was but that she couldn't get up without everyone seeing her underwear. So B. stood in front of her and spread her wide skirt out to block P. as she got back up.
It may seem like a small thing, but I teared up on the dance floor. In my mind, B. had committed a revolutionary act. She used her size to protect someone else. She didn't hide from it or try to minimize it or do it in a self-deprecating matter. Her friend was in trouble and she used her size to help. And no one judged either of them. It was beautiful.
After that I went to my first NAAFA pool party and then dragged my tired butt to bed, but there will be more to say about pool parties in the next installment! Stay tuned for days 2 and 3!
For more information about Melissa go to http://www.sizediversityandhealth.org/haes-expert.asp?id=97
For more information about Kelly Bliss go to http://www.kellybliss.com/main/index.php
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Introductions
Hello Fat-O-Sphere!
I have recently been added to the Fat-O-Sphere feed, so I thought I should introduce myself again to any new readers out there. My moniker here is Mrs. Sprat and I am a Human Sexuality Education student, a fat activist and a blogger. To pay for those endeavors I am also a some-time retail grunt. I have been married to Mr. Sprat for two years now and we live in the greater Philadelphia area where we are both in graduate school.
I discovered Fat Acceptance when I read an article by Kate Harding about fat women and rape for my work as a sexuality educator. The material immediately clicked with what I think I had known on some level all along: That there is nothing wrong with being fat, but a whole lot wrong with stigmatizing people for their body size. Since then I have immersed myself in FA blogs, books and theory and most recently, attended my first fat conference, NAAFA's annual conference in DC this past weekend.
I try to cover lots of different issues on this blog, but certainly the intersection of sexuality and fat and body image is a favorite of mine. I also have been known to cover fashion, food, sexism, current events and pretty much anything that tickles my fancy (or makes me very, very angry.)
Thank you all for reading and commenting, I look forward to working with all of you!
Sincerely,
Mrs. Sprat
I have recently been added to the Fat-O-Sphere feed, so I thought I should introduce myself again to any new readers out there. My moniker here is Mrs. Sprat and I am a Human Sexuality Education student, a fat activist and a blogger. To pay for those endeavors I am also a some-time retail grunt. I have been married to Mr. Sprat for two years now and we live in the greater Philadelphia area where we are both in graduate school.
I discovered Fat Acceptance when I read an article by Kate Harding about fat women and rape for my work as a sexuality educator. The material immediately clicked with what I think I had known on some level all along: That there is nothing wrong with being fat, but a whole lot wrong with stigmatizing people for their body size. Since then I have immersed myself in FA blogs, books and theory and most recently, attended my first fat conference, NAAFA's annual conference in DC this past weekend.
I try to cover lots of different issues on this blog, but certainly the intersection of sexuality and fat and body image is a favorite of mine. I also have been known to cover fashion, food, sexism, current events and pretty much anything that tickles my fancy (or makes me very, very angry.)
Thank you all for reading and commenting, I look forward to working with all of you!
Sincerely,
Mrs. Sprat
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Dear Max and Erma's
I will be heading to the NAAFA conference on Thursday so I only have time for a quick post, but expect a lot of updates next week about the conference!
I was in Pittsburgh this weekend and we went to a chain restaurant called Max and Erma's. I've been there three times before and had the best chicken parm of my life so I wanted to go while we were still in the area. Their menu had changed a lot in a year and one of the things I noticed was the burgers. Under each one it said "Max size (x price) or Erma size (y price). The Erma size was cheaper so I can only imagine it was smaller.
Way to be sexist and sizeist all in one! Like it isn't hard enough for a woman to order a burger in a restaurant? Now if she wants the big one she has to ask for the "man's serving"? And men who don't want as much (or are on a budget) have to order the girl one? This is exactly the kind of thing that keeps women (and especially fat women) down. If a woman wants to eat (let alone enjoy) the same amount of food as a man she becomes too much like a man and is considered a threat.
Some people, regardless of size or sex, eat more than other people. And some people are hungrier at a given moment than others. It is utterly humiliating to gender hamburgers in order to offer two sizes. Shame on you Max and Erma's, I'll be getting my chicken parm elsewhere from now on!
I was in Pittsburgh this weekend and we went to a chain restaurant called Max and Erma's. I've been there three times before and had the best chicken parm of my life so I wanted to go while we were still in the area. Their menu had changed a lot in a year and one of the things I noticed was the burgers. Under each one it said "Max size (x price) or Erma size (y price). The Erma size was cheaper so I can only imagine it was smaller.
Way to be sexist and sizeist all in one! Like it isn't hard enough for a woman to order a burger in a restaurant? Now if she wants the big one she has to ask for the "man's serving"? And men who don't want as much (or are on a budget) have to order the girl one? This is exactly the kind of thing that keeps women (and especially fat women) down. If a woman wants to eat (let alone enjoy) the same amount of food as a man she becomes too much like a man and is considered a threat.
Some people, regardless of size or sex, eat more than other people. And some people are hungrier at a given moment than others. It is utterly humiliating to gender hamburgers in order to offer two sizes. Shame on you Max and Erma's, I'll be getting my chicken parm elsewhere from now on!
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Death Threats
*Trigger warning for discussion of heart attacks*
Last night, I had a dream. I had a blood clot in my leg and I took some kind of medication, thinking it was something else, which caused the blood clot to move. I woke in a panic, insisting to my husband that any second it would reach my heart and I would have a heart attack and die.
This is not the first time that I have had that dream.
Let me back up for a second. I was never a squeamish child. At the doctors I was always well-behaved. Shots? Bring 'em on! I'd even watch them going in because I thought it was interesting. (My brother on the other hand, was crying in the parking lot!) Dissections in school? Loved 'em! Science class was always one of my favorites. The only thing that scared me, and I mean really scared me, was discussing clogged arteries.
From the time I was a small child, I was taught that the fat I ate would end up in my arteries and kill me. And that I needed to lose weight to stop this from happening. Cheese was particularly demonized. Since I was a little kid at the time and didn't really know how these things work, I would imagine the cheese actually in my arteries, coating the walls of my blood vessels. (Even as I am writing this I have to stop and clutch my chest and take deep breaths.)
I now recognize these as the death threats that all fat people receive. We are told that if we don't shape up, we are going to die and that's that. I would routinely be threatened with "you're going to die of a heart attack by x age." I think 30 was usually this magic age. Guess I should get my affairs in order, only six more years!
I was also warned, within my family, about getting "fat around my heart." I have never heard that expression from anyone outside my family. What does that even mean? It sounds kind of nice actually, like a cushion. Protection from harm. Also, even though I was only maybe 12 the first time I heard someone threatened with that, it seemed inherently sexist to me. All women have fat around their heart because of breasts. Why are manboobs the sign of an early death and womenboobs are, you know, all we're valued for?
For some reason, those particular threats have stayed with me. Those images of clogged arteries I've seen remain burned in my mind. I avoid hormonal birth control for fear of the "blot clot, stroke and heart attack" warnings. I can't eat string cheese. Ever. And now, I have nightmares that my fate has been sealed.
When I was a kid, all the threats did was scare me. I was afraid each slice of pizza would be my last. I was afraid that if I helped shovel snow or ran around the block, that I would have that heart attack I had been promised. Every gas pain was a sign I was going to die. If someone used the expression "clogged areteries" I would have to leave the room. All the threats did was prevent me from moving my body and enjoying my food. And lately, all they are doing is making it so that I don't sleep through the night. Why do people think these threats will help? All they do is scare children into thinking they are going to die. I can actually remember asking my health teacher how young the youngest person to ever have a heart attack was so I could figure out how much time I had left.
There is still so much healing left to do.
Last night, I had a dream. I had a blood clot in my leg and I took some kind of medication, thinking it was something else, which caused the blood clot to move. I woke in a panic, insisting to my husband that any second it would reach my heart and I would have a heart attack and die.
This is not the first time that I have had that dream.
Let me back up for a second. I was never a squeamish child. At the doctors I was always well-behaved. Shots? Bring 'em on! I'd even watch them going in because I thought it was interesting. (My brother on the other hand, was crying in the parking lot!) Dissections in school? Loved 'em! Science class was always one of my favorites. The only thing that scared me, and I mean really scared me, was discussing clogged arteries.
From the time I was a small child, I was taught that the fat I ate would end up in my arteries and kill me. And that I needed to lose weight to stop this from happening. Cheese was particularly demonized. Since I was a little kid at the time and didn't really know how these things work, I would imagine the cheese actually in my arteries, coating the walls of my blood vessels. (Even as I am writing this I have to stop and clutch my chest and take deep breaths.)
I now recognize these as the death threats that all fat people receive. We are told that if we don't shape up, we are going to die and that's that. I would routinely be threatened with "you're going to die of a heart attack by x age." I think 30 was usually this magic age. Guess I should get my affairs in order, only six more years!
I was also warned, within my family, about getting "fat around my heart." I have never heard that expression from anyone outside my family. What does that even mean? It sounds kind of nice actually, like a cushion. Protection from harm. Also, even though I was only maybe 12 the first time I heard someone threatened with that, it seemed inherently sexist to me. All women have fat around their heart because of breasts. Why are manboobs the sign of an early death and womenboobs are, you know, all we're valued for?
For some reason, those particular threats have stayed with me. Those images of clogged arteries I've seen remain burned in my mind. I avoid hormonal birth control for fear of the "blot clot, stroke and heart attack" warnings. I can't eat string cheese. Ever. And now, I have nightmares that my fate has been sealed.
When I was a kid, all the threats did was scare me. I was afraid each slice of pizza would be my last. I was afraid that if I helped shovel snow or ran around the block, that I would have that heart attack I had been promised. Every gas pain was a sign I was going to die. If someone used the expression "clogged areteries" I would have to leave the room. All the threats did was prevent me from moving my body and enjoying my food. And lately, all they are doing is making it so that I don't sleep through the night. Why do people think these threats will help? All they do is scare children into thinking they are going to die. I can actually remember asking my health teacher how young the youngest person to ever have a heart attack was so I could figure out how much time I had left.
There is still so much healing left to do.
Friday, July 22, 2011
Fat Fashion Friday 10- Party Clothes!
Dress- Forever 21+
Shoes- Ross (Born)
Necklace- Fashion Bug
Earrings- Icing by Claires
Kind of an awkward pose, no I did not have an amputation! This dress was such a great find at Forever 21! It's hard to see in the pic but it has a beautiful lace insert over the middle of the chest. It's a delightful, light fabric (which is great because it's been VERY hot around here.) I like the straps because they are not sleeves, but they are wide enough to cover bra straps, in case I don't feel like dealing with strapless bras. I also really dig the length, a little shorter than I'm used to. Look at those fat knees!
The shoes were actually my birthday present from my husband. I had seen, and tried them on in Ross a couple of months ago and fell in love with them! They are the shoe holy grail to me: Born sandals (which are super comfortable), teal and with a flower between the toes. But I thought they were too expensive so I didn't buy them. Mr. Sprat snuck out the next day and got them for me! Isn't that sweet?
Anyway, I had a great birthday and I'm looking forward to some more celebrating over the weekend. Have a great one!
~Mrs. Sprat
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
CAKE!
Since my birthday is tomorrow and I'm in a whimsical mood, let's talk about cake! After all, fatties love cake!
Summer birthday's have their ups and downs. They are great because you often have off from school or work for them. They are not so great because (at least when I was a kid) lots of my friends were away with their families or at camp, or later, looking at colleges when I wanted to have a party. But they are great because you can do fun water-themed parties or go to amusement parks.
The thing I really didn't like about having a summer birthday was ice cream cake.
I don't care for ice cream cake. I especially didn't like it as a kid because that was back when all they had was the vanilla-crunchies-chocolate variety. (Now they make all those cool mint ones and all sorts of stuff I might be able to get behind.) But every year, guess what I got? An ice cream cake. How hard is it to buy some damn Duncan Hines people? Or just get a sheet cake from the supermarket. They're cheaper than ice cream cakes, too.
But I digress. Really, ice cream cake is the worst thing you can have in mid-July. It's better in May or even in September or October. In July, you have about thirty seconds to eat the cake. "Oh my God, what's that giant brown tidal wave sweeping away all the children?" "It's the ice cream cake, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!"
My favorite kind of cake is yellow with chocolate frosting and nonpareils, though really good vanilla frosting can be even better sometimes. Or Funfetti, which I never had until adulthood. I also love all things lemon, though lemon cake with lemon frosting can be a bit much, as I've learned. I don't really like chocolate cake, I find it too rich.
Lately, I've been getting this cake from Acme that has (no not exploding birdseed!) strawberry filling in it, whipped cream on top and real strawberries and blueberries as a garnish. I guess it's like a strawberry shortcake cake, if that makes sense.
The point is, everyone has different tastes in cake as in all food, and just because someone happens to have a summer birthday doesn't mean they want a BBQ and an ice cream cake. What kinds of cake do y'all like? Any suggestions for tomorrow? I'll leave you with a picture of one of my latest ventures in cake, rainbow cake for Mr. Sprat's (winter) birthday!
Summer birthday's have their ups and downs. They are great because you often have off from school or work for them. They are not so great because (at least when I was a kid) lots of my friends were away with their families or at camp, or later, looking at colleges when I wanted to have a party. But they are great because you can do fun water-themed parties or go to amusement parks.
The thing I really didn't like about having a summer birthday was ice cream cake.
I don't care for ice cream cake. I especially didn't like it as a kid because that was back when all they had was the vanilla-crunchies-chocolate variety. (Now they make all those cool mint ones and all sorts of stuff I might be able to get behind.) But every year, guess what I got? An ice cream cake. How hard is it to buy some damn Duncan Hines people? Or just get a sheet cake from the supermarket. They're cheaper than ice cream cakes, too.
But I digress. Really, ice cream cake is the worst thing you can have in mid-July. It's better in May or even in September or October. In July, you have about thirty seconds to eat the cake. "Oh my God, what's that giant brown tidal wave sweeping away all the children?" "It's the ice cream cake, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!"
My favorite kind of cake is yellow with chocolate frosting and nonpareils, though really good vanilla frosting can be even better sometimes. Or Funfetti, which I never had until adulthood. I also love all things lemon, though lemon cake with lemon frosting can be a bit much, as I've learned. I don't really like chocolate cake, I find it too rich.
Lately, I've been getting this cake from Acme that has (no not exploding birdseed!) strawberry filling in it, whipped cream on top and real strawberries and blueberries as a garnish. I guess it's like a strawberry shortcake cake, if that makes sense.
The point is, everyone has different tastes in cake as in all food, and just because someone happens to have a summer birthday doesn't mean they want a BBQ and an ice cream cake. What kinds of cake do y'all like? Any suggestions for tomorrow? I'll leave you with a picture of one of my latest ventures in cake, rainbow cake for Mr. Sprat's (winter) birthday!
Friday, July 15, 2011
Fat Fashion Friday 9
My first OOTD sans hair!
I bought my first two tube tops ever this summer. (I've had tube dresses before but for some reason I feel like that's different.) This one from ON is nice because it has a band at the top and the bottom to make sure it stays in place. Also, teal is my FAVORITE color so anything teal is okay by me. The shorts I have been living in this summer, because they are really stretchy and comfortable and don't ride up like my short shorts do. The hat I got at Dots, moments after I shaved my head and I think it totally works!
That's me, with all my rolls and none of my hair! Have a great weekend!
~Mrs. Sprat
Tube Top- Old Navy
Bermuda Shorts- Old Navy
Cons- Marshall's
Hat- Dots
Necklace- Forever 21
Earrings- Amazon
~Mrs. Sprat
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