Outfit of the Day: I'm Dreaming of a Fat Christmas

One of my Christmas presents was a new camera!  So I figured my Christmas outfit would be a great first OOTD.  I'm not going to do a whole lot of these but I would like to show off a few of my finds:

Dress: Ross (Wishes Wishes Wishes) 

Sweater:  Fashion Bug

Leggings:  Old Navy

Shoes:  Kmart (Bongo)

I ordered red tights to wear with this outfit from We Love Colors, but they didn't make it in time. I may have to just wear this again when we go see my family next week, I think red will really make the outfit.  The best part about the dress is that it has pockets.  I love pockets and it is totally unfair that women's clothing so often lacks them.  The sweater is great too, because I can wear it with a dress like this, or it still looks good with jeans and a cami.  

There's one without the sweater.  It really is a cute dress, and not a style I would have bought before reading Fatshion blogs, but I have to say I love it!

~Mrs. Sprat

Sex Tip #3- Laugh

There is this idea of sex that it has to be serious and romantic in order to be good.  Sometimes that's true.  It can be beautiful to just be swept up and made love to (although notice the lack of consent in this "traditional" model of sex, but that is another post entirely) but talking, experimenting and yes, even laughing can make for a great sex experience.

Many people are too afraid to try something new, for fear of looking foolish or it not working or falling off the bed, etc.  But as your mother always said (oh good, now I've brought up your mother while you're having sex) how do you know it won't work, unless you try it.   Stuff happens.  Sometimes you read about an awesome position and then when you try it there's a scream and a thud.  Don't be discouraged, laugh it off, and try something else.  Just because you've found something that leads to orgasm every time, doesn't mean you should stop looking.  Laughing during sex can cement bonds and strengthen relationships, no matter what Hollywood tells you.

Also, laughter feels good.  Sex feels good.  It is natural to combine the two.  So go ahead, laugh when one of you starts making a squishy noise.  Laugh when one of you trips, or makes a funny face or farts in the middle of doggie style.  The alternatives are far more dangerous.

~Mrs. Sprat

Romanticizing Pregnancy

When I was a girl, I always wanted baby dolls for Christmas.  Usually several.  I always loved baby dolls and playing mommy.  The Christmas I was either 8 or 9, I started pretending that I was pregnant the month or so before Christmas, knowing that I was going to get baby dolls soon.  Mostly, I did it at home having the vague sense that pretending to be pregnant at school would probably get me in trouble.  I would walk tilted, jutting my belly out and putting a hand on my rounded stomach every now and then.  I would imagine that I could feel my baby (or babies) kicking.  I loved it.  I couldn't wait to really be pregnant.  Of course, my mom found me out and yelled at me that that was not an okay game to play, which I didn't quite understand, but in my mind, I maintained this fantasy.

I have romanticized pregnancy ever since and until very recently, I never knew quite why.  No matter what people told me about how painful and unpleasant pregnancy was, I always wanted to be pregnant anyway.  I mean, now that I'm married, we have a plan that does not include babies for another four or five years, but I still yearn to be pregnant.  In one of my classes this semester it suddenly occurred to me why this was.  I wanted to be pregnant because it was the one time that it was okay to be fat.  It is the one time of your life that you could wear shirts that show off your big belly, instead of hiding it.  It is the one time of your life where strangers touch your belly and get a happy look in their eyes.  It is the one time of your life where you can eat whatever you want at whatever time you want and people treat you like you are doing something wonderful and selfless.  I wanted to be pregnant because it was the only way that I thought I could be fat AND happy.

~Mrs. Sprat

Fat Sex Tip #2- Position, Position Position

I don't want to imply that fat people can't use the same positions as so-called "fit" people, and I myself am more limber than many of my thinner counterparts, however there are some that work really well for me and my husband and I'd like to share them with you.  Also, there are probably some sex positions that fat people are afraid of because of things they've been told their whole lives about what fat people should and should not do.

Therefore, the first position I would like to talk about is woman-on-top.  Cowgirl position, is a great position for fatties, especially if both partners are fat.  Because the woman can either lean forward or sit straight up, you can really vary the way the position works.  I like to sit straight up because the man can get an awesome view of your bod and in some cases can also stimulate your clitoris.  And if you are afraid that the massive amounts of fat might make it so that penis won't reach vagina (which is a fear put in your head by thin culture, I can assure you) woman on top is great because you can line your parts up and keep your bellies out of it, if that's what you want.  

Ladies, do not be afraid of woman on top, it can be an amazing addition to your sexual repertoire.  Remember my last post, it is okay to be naked.  Don't be afraid of urban sex myths that you'll crush him or that women shouldn't "be in control."  I know it can be hard to put those fears to bed (haha) but you can do it.  This person wants to have sex with you, and I know it is a cliche but it's true:  Confidence is sexy.  

~Mrs. Sprat

Fat Sex Tip #1 - Don't Be Afraid to Be Naked

One of the regular features of this blog is going to be a fat sex tip of the day.  I can think of no better place to start than Don't Be Afraid to Be Naked.

Okay, once in a while totally-clothed-I-have-to-have-you-no-time-for-unbuttoning sex can be amazing, but it should't be the only feature.

Nor should totally dark, "God, I hope the moon isn't out tonight" sex.

Let's face it, even if you wear slimming clothes and all sorts of undergarments, the person who just agreed to have sex with you KNOWS YOU'RE FAT.  And even if he's Mr. Perfect Abs of Steel (or the female equivalent) chances are he or she is not all that perfect naked either, and that's okay.  If this person is into you with your clothes on, their not going to suddenly run away screaming when the clothes come off.  So be naked, be yourself, it feels amazing and it makes sex better.

Just remember, when having sex, leave your clothes (and your insecurities) at the door!

~Mrs. Sprat

On Being More Afraid of Fat Acceptance than Just Being Fat

I have been lurking around the corners of the Fat-O-Sphere for months now and trying to figure out how to process the material I have been working through.  I've been talking to my husband about it, which has been great, but I am afraid to tell anyone else.  I'm afraid that I will be judged and laughed at and that's just my family's reactions!  So I decided that maybe the best way to process everything--  and to try to slowly build up the courage to tell my family and friends about my new interest-- is to start writing.

I have been fat my whole life, (with the exception of the year I was 10, though I didn't know it at the time.)  From late elementary school on I have been on various diets, though mostly Slim-Fast.  Once I got to college, I began telling people that yes, I wanted to be on a diet but college was too stressful and once I was out I would try to lose weight.  But secretly, I had no desire to lose weight.  I was happy with how I looked and felt and certainly happy with eating what I enjoyed.  After college I married Mr. Sprat and after a year of working I am back in graduate school studying Human Sexuality.  I discovered FA a few months ago when I was reading a book about rape and there was an article by Kate Harding in it.  I've been hooked ever since and am feeling stronger and better about myself than I ever have.

I am really looking forward to discussing fat acceptance with the community, not to mention focusing on fat sex, as it combines two of my greatest interests and also getting to show off some outfits (one of the few benefits of working in retail to put myself through school.)  See you around the Fat-O-Sphere!