Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Early Fat Fashion

Hey all, between a giant pile of grad school homework and getting out of town for a much-needed weekend away, I'm going to do a quick fashion post today and try to resume normal functioning next week.  Please bear with me until the three papers and two tests I have left are done and things can get back to normal.  Thanks!

Cardi/Tank/skirt/leggings- Old Navy
Belt- Fashion Bug
Shoes- Sears

I was drawn to this skirt because of the color, it's basically Kelly green, which is a color I almost never wear because I love teal so much.  But the skirt is so pretty and spring-y I couldn't resist!  The tank is cute, but because the flowers are painted on, when I put it over the girls it looks all cracked which is not cool.  Anyway, I think overall it is a nice look and I'm excited to start branching into colors I've been told not to wear or censored myself.

Everyone have a great week, and stay tuned for posts next week!

Mrs. Sprat

Friday, March 25, 2011

Fat Fashion Friday 6

Cardigan- Old Navy
Dress/Leggings- Old Navy Plus
Shoes- Target

I decided I should start differentiating between Old Navy bought in the store and Old Navy plus bought online.  ON goes up to a size 20 in the store and an XXL.  Online they have sizes 16-30 or 4X.  I personally vary a lot, but I generally can wear 16 in their pants XL, XXL or 1X in their shirts and dresses so I shop both frequently.  This dress is a 1X and the cardi is an XXL.  Anyway, it's a great dress, nice comfortable jersey with pretty flowers on the bottom!  It's the kind of dress Old Navy is great for, so comfy you could sleep in it, but pretty enough that you look and feel great.  Here's one without the cardi, yay for my right to bare arms!

Have a great weekend everyone!

Mrs. Sprat

Monday, March 21, 2011

Thank You

Yesterday, Mr. Sprat and I bought bicycles.  I haven't ridden a bike since high school, so that was about six years ago.  And that time it was only to move the bikes from one house to another, four blocks.  I barely made it.  My thighs ached and I could barely keep peddling by the time we got there.  Since then, my husband and I have talked about getting bikes and my response was always kind of ambivalent.  Maybe we could rent them, I would say.  I remembered how bad it felt to not be able to make it four blocks.  All I could think was how difficult it had been and how much I didn't want to own something that was "for exercising."

Then I saw this post while I was going back through Fat Heffalump's blog.  And I thought to myself, that is the cutest bike I've ever seen!  And then I thought, I want to ride again.  It got to the point where all I could think about was getting a bike.  So yesterday for the first day of spring we went and bought bikes.

We weren't originally planning on buying them just yet so when we got out to the car, we didn't really have a plan on how to get them home.  Of course, they wouldn't fit in the car, nothing fits in our trunk, seriously.  We don't live too far from the Kmart where we got them so Mr. Sprat suggested we ride them home.  I wasn't sure.  Honestly, I wasn't sure I'd even remember how to ride, let alone make it a couple of miles home.  But as he was trying fruitlessly to get them in the car, I pushed myself off.  After a little wobbling, I started doing circles around the parked cars.  I was flying.  My legs didn't hurt, I didn't fall off or break the bike, everything was smooth and perfect.  So we rode the bikes home.  And yeah, I had to stop a couple of times.  And yes, my butt is sore today, but I did it.  And now I have a bike again!

Today, it rained most of the day and I was crushed because I wanted to go ride again.  I felt like a kid, who wanted to go out and play, something I rarely even experienced as a child.  And so I just wanted to say thank you, to the entire Fat Acceptance community and to Fat Heffalump especially, for giving me the confidence to ride my bike again, for the pure fun of it.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Mrs. Sprat

Friday, March 18, 2011

Fat Fashion Friday 5

Cardigan/T-shirt/Leggings- Old Navy
Skirt- Fashion Bug
Shoes- Target

I wasn't sure about the bolero-style cardigan but it really works well with a-line dresses and skirts so it doesn't get in the way of the shape it makes.  I know it's a little thing but I also love the gray/black alternating, I think it's fun.

Sorry this post is a little late everyone, things are kind of crazy around here.  Have a fantastic weekend!

~Mrs. Sprat

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Fat Sex Tip #7- Masturbate!

First, I want to thank everyone for sticking with me through my Know Your Vulva series.  For many, it may not seem like a big deal, but it is a huge issue for me so I wanted to put it out there for everyone.  Now that we know our vulvas it's time to get back to putting them in good use.


Masturbation is great because it:  Relieves stress, is not a huge time commitment, helps you learn what you like and is just plain fun.  There are a lot of people out there think that masturbation is just something you do until you get a partner, but there's no reason to stop then.  Sometimes he or she might not be around or in the mood, or sometimes YOU JUST WANT ALONE TIME.  That's perfectly natural.  In a relationship with open communication it should be fine to say "hey I want to have some "me" sex."

For fatties, there can be some obstacles to "traditional" masturbation, but there are many ways to jack it, so have no fear!  I personal lay on my back, and reach my arm around the side of my stomach to the clitoris.  However, I'm sure there are some men and women out there who maybe can't reach or get the right angle that way.  One thing you can do is use a toy that has a handle, thereby giving you an extra few inches, so to speak.  I have one vibrator that is like your basic bullet vibe, but it is on a long coil.  You can bend the coil until it reaches your clitoris but be able to just rest your hand higher on the thigh or even belly.  Also, get creative!  You don't need to spend money on vibrators.  Try electric toothbrushes (wash before using them for their "intended" purpose).  Water massagers can be great!  Lay in the tub with your feet planted on the wall of the bathtub then angle the water so it hits your clitoris, labia, vagina, whatever you like.  Or just run the faucet.

Also, we tend to think that there is only one position for masturbation.  Experiment.  Try standing in the shower, if you don't fit right or feel comfortable in the tub.  Try laying on your stomach or side.  I've even masturbated doggie-style:  Prop yourself up with some pillows and reach yourself that way.  Sitting straight up in a chair or against pillows on the bed might work too.

Guys out there, don't think I've forgotten you in a sea of vulvas and vibrators.  There are many mens toys out there that can help fat men as well.  The Fleshlight immediately comes to mind, but also, don't rule out vibrators, they can feel great for men as well.  Vibrating cockrings can provide some interesting sensations and even that water massager aimed at your perineum (grundle or taint) or testicles or anus can really provide a  lot of stimulation.  If you have trouble reaching or providing enough thrust, try "humping" something, like the edge of the bed or a pillow.  Ladies:  That goes for you too, a lot of women hump to achieve orgasm, just because it doesn't seem ladylike is no reason not to try it.

A lot of times, once we find one thing that works for us we stick to it.  Why be disappointed, right?  But there are many ways to masturbate and as our bodies grow and age and change, different techniques work differently.  What do you all do?  Do you find that you have different needs because your fat?  Tell me about them!

Also, for further reading check out Notblueatall's TMI Tuesday about Masturbation.

Happy Humping!
~Mrs. Sprat

Friday, March 11, 2011

Fat Fashion Friday 4

Hey all!  Here's a quick OOTD to kick off the weekend.  

Sharkbite Tee/ Earrings/ Necklace- Fashion Bug
Jeans- Old Navy
Shoes- Sears

Sorry the pic is so dark, my camera is a strange little monkey sometimes.  I seriously can't get enough of these sharkbite t-shirts.  They are so comfortable, but you look like a million bucks in them!  The necklace is also totally fabulous, it is a class heart in the middle with two beaded chains around it, super cute!  Here's a close up of it!

Also, be sure to check out The Rotund's latest post about normalizing our bodies.  There are some AMAZING outfits on there!

Have a great weekend!
~Mrs. Sprat

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Know Your Vulva Part 6- How Can We Help?

How can we help other women who hate their bodies?  The first thing we can do is love ours, unconditionally.  The second thing we can do is talk.  Talk to your friends, partners and family.  Use the term vulva, not vagina and talk about why it is important to know your vulva as you know your face.  If you have friends who would be willing, have a vulva circle, where you take turns passing the hand mirror around and look at each others vulvas. Remind women that there is no shame in having a vulva and that they are all beautiful. For further reading, look into Betty Dodson's work, especially Sex for One or if you can find the video Viva La Vulva.  Understand that many women have very complex relationships with vulvas and be patient if they are scared, grossed out or indifferent.

Tell people about labiaplasty and why you think it is wrong.  Encourage discussion about plastic surgery in general and how it affects women.  Talk about female genital mutilation or female circumcision.  Talk about how wonderful it is to have an organ that's only function is pleasure (the clitoris, of course!)

Refuse anything less than comprehensive sexuality education and don't be afraid to let those in Washington know.  Currently, millions of dollars go into abstinence-only based education which often does not discuss female pleasure at all.  Demand that educators use a variety of models and diagrams, not just thin, white men and women with sanitized genitalia.  Insist on your children learning the words penis and vulva as they would learn fingers and toes.

But most of all, walk tall.  Be proud.  You are a woman.  You have a vulva and it is beautiful, just like the rest of you.

Mrs. Sprat

Monday, March 7, 2011

Know Your Vulva Part 5: What Can We Do?

After reading my last four posts about this topic, you may be feeling pretty hopeless.  How can we change a system that brings us down practically from birth?  How can we undo all of the damage done to us from our mothers, teachers, friends, the media and society?

As you may have guessed by now, the answer is to Know Your Vulva.

Take a hand-mirror, or other mirror that you can adjust-- I recommend a lighted-makeup mirror because it can stand on its own, which is great for fatties especially-- and put it between your legs. (It might also be helpful to look up or print out an anatomy diagram just in case some of the terminology is foreign to you.)  Put your legs as far apart as you can, with your feet flat on the floor and your knees bent.  First, just look at your vulva as is, don't use your hands just yet.  Notice what color your outer lips are, how much pubic hair you have, whether or not you can see your inner lips or your clitoris without using your fingers.  Then gently pull apart the outer lips with two fingers (or each hand if you are using a hands-free mirror.)  Look at your clitoral hood.  What color is it?  Can you see the clitoris without touching the hood or do you need to move the hood back?  Look at your inner lips.  Are they the same size?  Is one larger?  What color are they?  How do they feel when you touch them?  Look at the opening of your vagina.  Is it partially covered?  Can you see inside at all?  What color is it?

At this point if you are so inclined, you can masturbate while looking in the mirror.  Notice the changes of your inner lips and clitoris, notice whether fluid is coming out of the vagina and if so how much and what color.  Another thing you can do if you have a plastic speculum is you can set that up and look at your cervix.  Checking your cervix is a great way to monitor your pelvic health as well as your menstrual cycle.  Check out The Beautiful Cervix Project for more information about cervical health.

Don't just do this once, do it regularly.  Do it at different points in your cycle.  Do it with a partner or close friend.  Do it until you know what your vulva looks like as well as you know what your face looks like.  Do it until you love your vulva and until you feel comfortable looking at it.  Do it until you don't feel the shame anymore.  And then it's time to spread the word!

Up Next:  How can we help others?

Friday, March 4, 2011

Food Friday

This week was my spring break from school, so between having no class this week and only working shipment at ON (read:  wear the most comfortable clothes they let you) I haven't really had any outfits worthy of a Fat Fashion Friday.  So I thought this week we could instead talk about food, since Lipid Love's subtitle says food, but I haven't actually talked about it yet.

My mom doesn't cook. Now, I don't think that everyone on earth needs to be able to cook.  If you hate cooking and you have the means not to, by all means eat out every night.  However, I don't think it could hurt for everyone to have basic cooking skills, whether or not they choose to use them.  And if you can't afford to go out to eat every night, you owe it to yourself to learn.  (If it's a choice between going out for Chinese or going to college, you probably should pick college...)

Later, when she eventually went back to work after my father moved out, we basically ordered in most nights of the week.  We ate Wendy's two nights a week and then Italian and Chinese with TV dinners to make up the rest of it.  In hindsight, I think my mother has a really complicated relationship with food.  Honestly, I think she hates it, and then if she finds she likes something, she feels really guilty about liking it.  We were accused of being hungry all the time and told we should eat less. I would ask for chicken soup when I was sick and she would tell me that if I was really sick, I wouldn't be hungry.

Then when I went to college, I discovered all kinds of food that I loved!  I remember one of the things was stir-fry.  I would make them for myself for lunch when I came home from college.  "Why are you eating that?"  Mom and my brother would say, and call me weird.  I would have thought they would be happy that I was eating vegetables instead of pizza rolls, since they constantly called me fat but somehow I ended up criticized for it.

The amazing thing is, that despite all of that, I love food.  I didn't inherit my mothers feelings about it at all.  And, the more amazing thing is that I love to cook.  True, I do still like to go out or order in sometimes (who doesn't) and working retail sometimes takes my drive to cook away from me, but generally I love it.  My favorite food has always been pasta and now I love making all kinds of homemade dishes with pasta as the main ingredient.  My favorite meal is Chicken Parmesan, but I have never made it myself satisfactorily.  I love to make soups and stews and I'm slowly getting past my fear of making potatoes.  I also love to make Asian food, so I make a lot of stir-frys and other Asian-inspired dishes.  Recently, I've started experimenting with making veggie mixes and then freezing them to use in different dishes.  I like it because I can leave out the ones I don't like then use the mix to put into dishes or have as a side with lunch or dinner.

I do still like the processed foods of my childhood every so often like Pasta-Roni or Hamburger Helper or Uncle Ben's rice.  And I think that's okay.  I don't wish that I had never had those foods in childhood, I just wish I'd had homemade things too.  I wish that my mother could love food instead of forcing herself to eat every once in-a-while and then sometimes "indulging" in her favorite chicken masala, only to feel guilty later.  In this culture, it is not good to like things that you do everyday.  If you like to eat or sleep, it is a moral failing.  But we do these things EVERY DAY, wouldn't we all be a lot happier if we liked it?

Have a great weekend!
~Mrs. Sprat

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Know Your Vulva Part 3: Labiaplasty

Negative messages about women's body come from everywhere.  As we've seen, our mothers tell us our body is dirty and then society denies our vulvas even exist.  On TV (and in porn) women are portrayed as having a smooth line in bathing suits and skimpy outfits, there is nothing else "down there."

The medical industry does nothing to refute these claims.  In fact they capitalize on them.  Plastic surgeons have a long history with exploiting or even creating medical disorders to promote surgeries.  When there was some question as to the safety of breast implants, doctors invented a disease called "micromastia" claiming that many women suffered from it and that implants were the cure.  Suddenly a ton of women who simply had small breasts now had a medical disease.  (Sound familiar?  Remember when BMI suddenly made everyone obese?)

Labiaplasty is a relatively new surgery in which the inner labia are cut down.  Again, doctors use the concept of "normal" to justify the surgery saying that inner labia that extend past the outer are "not necessary."  Furthermore, since female genitals are described as an absence, long inner lips can be seen as being masculine.  Anything that juts out or is bumpy is somehow wrong (unless it's breasts or butts.)  There are other types of genital surgery including sewing up of the hymen and other "vaginal rejuvenation."  Labiaplasty is the fastest-growing plastic surgery in the US today.  This means that while other plastic surgeries are currently being performed more frequently, the number of labiaplasties is steadily rising.

As with any genital surgery, there are many risks.  The labia are very sensitive to pleasure, in fact the legs of the clitoris are located underneath the labia minora.  Cutting them off can cause a loss of pleasure, painful intercourse, among other problems.  The really unfortunate part is that the surgery does nothing to correct the real problem and many women continue to be dissatisfied after the surgery.  One study found that two of the 16 women they talked with had a second surgery to further "correct the problem."  The real problem is body image, and no surgery in the world can correct that.

As a side note, Female genital mutilation is often talked about as being such a horrible, barbaric procedure.  (For those who don't know, it is practiced in Africa among other places and involves cutting all the external genitalia off of young girls.)  There are charitable organizations here in the US that try to go into Africa and stop the procedure.  While I do agree that it shouldn't be done, I think we need to take a hard look at what we do here in the United States.

Some would argue that the girls in Africa have no choice and that women here have a choice.  But if we are constantly being manipulated by our parents, teachers, doctors, the media and society as a whole then what kind of choice is that?  It is the same as being told that lap-band surgery is a choice.  If we do not have all the information, it is no choice at all.

Up Next:  Know Your Vulva:  What Can We Do?