How can we help other women who hate their bodies? The first thing we can do is love ours, unconditionally. The second thing we can do is talk. Talk to your friends, partners and family. Use the term vulva, not vagina and talk about why it is important to know your vulva as you know your face. If you have friends who would be willing, have a vulva circle, where you take turns passing the hand mirror around and look at each others vulvas. Remind women that there is no shame in having a vulva and that they are all beautiful. For further reading, look into Betty Dodson's work, especially Sex for One or if you can find the video Viva La Vulva. Understand that many women have very complex relationships with vulvas and be patient if they are scared, grossed out or indifferent.
Tell people about labiaplasty and why you think it is wrong. Encourage discussion about plastic surgery in general and how it affects women. Talk about female genital mutilation or female circumcision. Talk about how wonderful it is to have an organ that's only function is pleasure (the clitoris, of course!)
Refuse anything less than comprehensive sexuality education and don't be afraid to let those in Washington know. Currently, millions of dollars go into abstinence-only based education which often does not discuss female pleasure at all. Demand that educators use a variety of models and diagrams, not just thin, white men and women with sanitized genitalia. Insist on your children learning the words penis and vulva as they would learn fingers and toes.
But most of all, walk tall. Be proud. You are a woman. You have a vulva and it is beautiful, just like the rest of you.
Love,
Mrs. Sprat
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