Friday, August 12, 2011

NAAFA Convention 2011: Day 2 Sex and Fashion

Day two of the NAAFA convention started, for me, with a workshop about fat admirers. One of my classmates was on a panel discussion about both men and women who find they are attracted to fat partners.  First, we talked in separate groups (all the males and all the females) and then came together to share what we had learned.  It was interesting to hear everyone's take on the concept of being an FA and to really talk about the elephant in the room for much of the conference: The thin, male FA's who mostly attended the evening social events.  There was enough in that workshop to generate an entire blog post, which I will do at some point but for the sake of telling you about NAAFA I will try to keep it short.

It seems to me that two types of FA's emerged.  One group were the men who attended the workshops, talked to the women and seem to support our cause.  The other group consisted of basically silent men, who did not attend the workshops and made a lot of the women feel uncomfortable when they were hanging around the dances.  It's a shame the second group didn't come to the FA workshop, I would really have liked to hear from them.  I think the same two categories can be applied to the so-called "normal" men who like thin women.  Some of the FA's were there because they really support our goals and maybe already have a fat partner or had one in the past and want to be a part of our culture.  The others were objectifying us and only wanted us for our bodies, or for sex.  Or maybe it is just that they are so shy from years of being told they were freaks by the other boys that they were too afraid to talk to us.  I hope if that is the case, that we can continue to have a workshop like this so that maybe they can feel brave enough to come and help us understand them.

It was also interesting to discuss the concept of a female FA, an idea that was new to me.  In our society, it is hard to imagine female FA's because being fat for a man and being fat for a woman is such a different experience.  Often the only time a fat character is on a TV show is the fat husband of a thin wife.  It is acceptable in a certain way so it doesn't have a name like FA's do (The "abnormal" thing is always named before the "normal."  Homosexual came before heterosexual, trans came before cis, etc.)  With women who like fat women, again, it is not seen as unusual because there is this idea of a different beauty standard among lesbians due to their (relative) freedom from the wants of men.  Finally, all of the women at the seminar were fat (not surprisingly due to the audience.)  so there is also this unspoken idea that a fat women couldn't be with a thin partner.  Of course fat women would be with fat men because "it's all they can get."  What would have happened if one of the women in the group said she exclusively liked thin men or women, I wonder.  Would she be a traitor, or just have her own taste like the FA's?  What do you guys think?

Following the FA/FFA workshop, I attended a diversity workshop focused on how to get other kinds of people to join NAAFA and participate in our events.  I liked the workshop because it was goal-oriented and involved us breaking into small groups and working together.  Being  randomly paired with some of the NAAFA members (including the chair of the board)  helped me get to know more people than my convention clique as it were, and get to throw some ideas out there.  Some of the material we discussed is already in the works!

Saturday night meant it was time for the fashion show.  It was a great experience getting to model!  What a thrill to do my big, fat turn on the catwalk, to the screaming NAAFA members, and in a VERY expensive dress by the designer Toula.  I also modeled for Ashaki Charles designs, a dress much closer to my own clothing budget.  It was so empowering to strut my stuff with all my new friends and help bring in some money for NAAFA by auctioning off some of the pieces.  I am hoping that SOMEONE took pictures so that I can post them here (850 dollar dress, how's that for an OOTD?!)

After the auction there was more dancing, including several men and women with limited mobility taking scooters and chairs up to the dance floor so they could join in on the fun!  I personally had used up all my moves during the fashion show so I had a nice, quiet talk with a new friend and then went to the pool party.

The last time I'd worn a two-piece bathing suit was probably my 4th birthday party so I knew it was time to get a bikini for the conference.  It was so much fun to wear what I wanted instead of what I was "supposed to."  And it was so nice to be surrounded by supportive people who all told me I looked amazing, instead of telling me how I can minimize myself.  It was also really inspiring to see other people, bigger than me, smaller than me, whatever, all wearing their bathing suits proudly and having a blast!

Talk about an empowering day:  Discussing sexuality, working with the NAAFA members on diversity ideas, strutting my stuff at a fashion show, watching everyone exercise their right to dance and sporting my two-piece with a bunch of rad fatties!  What a day!

2 comments:

  1. Thank you for this lovely summary of your experiences at many of the same events I attended; I enjoyed your perspective.

    As for the FA/FFA workshop, wow, that's tackling an enormous issue, one that I can't wrap myself around right now. Suffice to say I don't think any of our desires emerge in a cultural vacuum, so whom we desire is just as political as whom we revile.

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