Wednesday, August 10, 2011

NAAFA Convention 2011: Day 1 Boundaries and Booties!

NAAFA's 2011 conference took place from August 4-8 at The Westin Hotel in Herndon, VA.  The 4th was just a day for registration and mingling, so I won't cover it in great detail here, but suffice it to say, by Thursday night, I could already tell that I was going to make lasting friendships and maybe even change my life.  

Friday morning started early with a session of Water Aerobics with Melissa.  I had never done Water Aerobics so I braved 8AM to give it a try.  It was wonderful to be surrounded by fat women of all ages, all active and enjoying the use of their bodies.  It was also very refreshing to be with an instructor who encouraged us to test our limits but also to know our limits and take it easy when we needed to.  There was none of that "no pain, no gain" mentality and it made the whole experience very positive.  Having a fat instructor was also helpful because she was sensitive to our concerns and had a lot of useful tips to adjust our workouts as necessary.  I just wish I could convince my apartment complex to do water aerobics classes so I can keep learning!

The next workshop I attended was called Tending Boundaries with the Fat Fitness guru, Kelly Bliss. Kelly taught us a basic three-step procedure for how to tend your boundaries with loved ones, doctors and other people who feel they need to make "suggestions" regarding your health.  The three steps are to say:

1.  I know you are concerned.
2.  I am already doing something to address your concern (HAES, self-esteem work, etc.)
3.  We can't talk about this or 
      you are not welcome to comment on ________.  

I found that it was a useful framework because it shows that you are listening to the person, it addresses their concerns (yes I am fat, thank you for noticing) and it stops the conversation from going any further, ie turning into a screaming match.  She also talked about how after an altercation you should speak out loud(even if it is only to yourself) all the things you wanted to say to the person.  Even if you only say it to yourself, it can be very helpful to get it out of your head and into your experiences.  We tried it with a few recent events in our lives and it really did make us feel better.  Kelly likened it to how when you watch a scary movie you still get scared even though you know it's not real.  You will still feel some closure by standing up for yourself even if the other person never hears it.  

The next workshop I attended was a social media workshop.  Mostly it was geared towards older people experimenting with social media for the first time so it wasn't especially useful to me but I am looking into Linkedin and Tweetdeck as a result so some good did come from it.  

Following the social media workshop was a quick meeting for the fashion show (more on that tomorrow) and then off to a lovely buffet dinner and dance party with all my new friends.  Friday night's dance was probably one of the most positive experiences of my life.  From small things, like getting back in the buffet line and not getting a glare from a single person at the table, to some bigger more life-changing events.  

When the dancing got underway, I was right there on the dance floor strutting my stuff.  I felt amazing, confident, happy and sexy.  As we were dancing, one of the women slipped on her shoe and fell.  We all stopped.  One of my good friends from the conference went over to make sure she was okay.  She said she was but that she couldn't get up without everyone seeing her underwear.  So B.  stood in front of her and spread her wide skirt out to block P. as she got back up.  

It may seem like a small thing, but I teared up on the dance floor.  In my mind, B. had committed a revolutionary act.  She used her size to protect someone else.  She didn't hide from it or try to minimize it or do it in a self-deprecating matter.  Her friend was in trouble and she used her size to help.  And no one judged either of them.  It was beautiful.  

After that I went to my first NAAFA pool party and then dragged my tired butt to bed, but there will be more to say about pool parties in the next installment!  Stay tuned for days 2 and 3! 

For more information about Melissa go to http://www.sizediversityandhealth.org/haes-expert.asp?id=97

For more information about Kelly Bliss go to http://www.kellybliss.com/main/index.php

1 comment:

  1. Thank you for posting this. I'm getting chills reliving the Convention through your eyes. I really appreciate your summary of Kelly's workshop, and I'm so, so happy you felt noticed, loved, and admired while you were there. I don't think anyone there didn't honor your beauty, your wit, and your fierceness.

    And thanks for the beautiful discussion of the P. and B. incident on the dance floor. I couldn't agree more. How incredible to be in a space where our bodies are used for pleasure, comfort, and (in B's case) as a superwoman shield. :)

    Hugs, and mwah, my friend!

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