In honor of Love Your Body Day, here are 20 things you can do to love your body everyday! Feel free to add more in the comments.
1. Wear clothes based on how they feel, not (necessarily) how they look.
2. Get as much sleep as your body needs. (8 hours is a general rule, some people need more, some less.)
3. Get a new haircut (or shave your head!)
4. Dance!
5. Eat foods that you love (no guilt!)
6. Get a massage
7. Soak your feet
8. Buy a new outfit that people your size "aren't supposed to wear" and wear it proudly!
9. Go swimming (or play field hockey or do yoga or take a long walk and look at the leaves change colors)
10. Have dessert!
11. Take up belly dancing (or swing dancing or square dancing or pole dancing....)
12. Snuggle in your favorite chair with a good book
13. Show off your scars, they are a part of who you are
14. Tell the face in the mirror that you love him or her
15. Have sex!
16. Cook a meal from scratch
17. Go without makeup for a day
18. Take a long, relaxing shower or bath
19. Masturbate!
20. Thank your body for all the amazing things that it has done in the past and all the amazing things it will do in the future.
Have a great Love Your Body Day!
~Mrs. Sprat
Showing posts with label food. Show all posts
Showing posts with label food. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Women as Gatekeepers
Sorry for the lack of posting, school has officially started and the way my classes are structured means a lot of work now, but a lot less after Nov 1.
In class a couple of weekends ago, one of my fellow students brought up a study that indicates that men in committed relationships live longer than their single counterparts. She "proved" this to be true by telling us what her boyfriend wants to eat vs. what she makes him eat.
We have seen this a lot before: Hillary Clinton was blamed for Bill Clinton's weight gain during his presidency and charged with getting him to lose weight and eat "better." Michelle Obama not only puts her children on very public diets but also has to control the President's eating as well. Even in my own family, my in-laws make comments such as "she feeds you well" while looking at Mr. Sprat's protruding belly, etc.
Let's take a step back and remember that these are grown men we are talking about. Grown men do not need women to "feed them." Plain and simple. Men are just as capable at making food choices as women are. Granted, because of the diet culture in this country, neither are really fully equipped, but that still proves my point. A man who eats nothing but pizza is no worse off than a man who's wife makes him eat nothing but salads.
But this is not new ground, we've discussed this before. Women are seen as gatekeepers. As with sexuality (delaying intercourse), women are socialized to believe that they have to take care of a man and make sure that he doesn't do anything reckless, in addition to taking care of herself.
What really got me angry though, was the assumption that it was dietary choices that led the married men to live longer. Again, we see the conflation of eating and health. A person who eats certain foods will not live as long as those who abstain, and since it is the wife's job to control these eating habits, she is charged with his life.
Maybe the reason the partnered men lived longer is because of the effects of love on brain chemistry. Maybe it is because routine is comforting or somehow safer. Maybe (though I personally find this dubious as well) it is because they are less likely to contract an STD. Maybe the study was poorly conducted and all the partnered people in it also shared similar socioeconomic backgrounds or other factors. Or maybe, men who live longer are more likely to get married and not the other way around. Any way you look at it, diet is just one possibility in why the study turned out the way it did.
I don't know. I haven't read the study, though I've heard it mentioned a number of times, always to prove a different point. I only know what I heard, which was more conflating weight and food choices with health and more affirming of women as gatekeepers, who must protect men from everything from sex to food, while simultaneously protecting themselves. Those roles are not good for men and they certainly aren't very good for women either. Couples need to support each other in however they choose to eat and single people should not be shamed into relationships to prevent death. If everyone were more confident on how to feed themselves, the diet industry would have much less of a hold on people and that would be a wonderful thing.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Dear Max and Erma's
I will be heading to the NAAFA conference on Thursday so I only have time for a quick post, but expect a lot of updates next week about the conference!
I was in Pittsburgh this weekend and we went to a chain restaurant called Max and Erma's. I've been there three times before and had the best chicken parm of my life so I wanted to go while we were still in the area. Their menu had changed a lot in a year and one of the things I noticed was the burgers. Under each one it said "Max size (x price) or Erma size (y price). The Erma size was cheaper so I can only imagine it was smaller.
Way to be sexist and sizeist all in one! Like it isn't hard enough for a woman to order a burger in a restaurant? Now if she wants the big one she has to ask for the "man's serving"? And men who don't want as much (or are on a budget) have to order the girl one? This is exactly the kind of thing that keeps women (and especially fat women) down. If a woman wants to eat (let alone enjoy) the same amount of food as a man she becomes too much like a man and is considered a threat.
Some people, regardless of size or sex, eat more than other people. And some people are hungrier at a given moment than others. It is utterly humiliating to gender hamburgers in order to offer two sizes. Shame on you Max and Erma's, I'll be getting my chicken parm elsewhere from now on!
I was in Pittsburgh this weekend and we went to a chain restaurant called Max and Erma's. I've been there three times before and had the best chicken parm of my life so I wanted to go while we were still in the area. Their menu had changed a lot in a year and one of the things I noticed was the burgers. Under each one it said "Max size (x price) or Erma size (y price). The Erma size was cheaper so I can only imagine it was smaller.
Way to be sexist and sizeist all in one! Like it isn't hard enough for a woman to order a burger in a restaurant? Now if she wants the big one she has to ask for the "man's serving"? And men who don't want as much (or are on a budget) have to order the girl one? This is exactly the kind of thing that keeps women (and especially fat women) down. If a woman wants to eat (let alone enjoy) the same amount of food as a man she becomes too much like a man and is considered a threat.
Some people, regardless of size or sex, eat more than other people. And some people are hungrier at a given moment than others. It is utterly humiliating to gender hamburgers in order to offer two sizes. Shame on you Max and Erma's, I'll be getting my chicken parm elsewhere from now on!
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Death Threats
*Trigger warning for discussion of heart attacks*
Last night, I had a dream. I had a blood clot in my leg and I took some kind of medication, thinking it was something else, which caused the blood clot to move. I woke in a panic, insisting to my husband that any second it would reach my heart and I would have a heart attack and die.
This is not the first time that I have had that dream.
Let me back up for a second. I was never a squeamish child. At the doctors I was always well-behaved. Shots? Bring 'em on! I'd even watch them going in because I thought it was interesting. (My brother on the other hand, was crying in the parking lot!) Dissections in school? Loved 'em! Science class was always one of my favorites. The only thing that scared me, and I mean really scared me, was discussing clogged arteries.
From the time I was a small child, I was taught that the fat I ate would end up in my arteries and kill me. And that I needed to lose weight to stop this from happening. Cheese was particularly demonized. Since I was a little kid at the time and didn't really know how these things work, I would imagine the cheese actually in my arteries, coating the walls of my blood vessels. (Even as I am writing this I have to stop and clutch my chest and take deep breaths.)
I now recognize these as the death threats that all fat people receive. We are told that if we don't shape up, we are going to die and that's that. I would routinely be threatened with "you're going to die of a heart attack by x age." I think 30 was usually this magic age. Guess I should get my affairs in order, only six more years!
I was also warned, within my family, about getting "fat around my heart." I have never heard that expression from anyone outside my family. What does that even mean? It sounds kind of nice actually, like a cushion. Protection from harm. Also, even though I was only maybe 12 the first time I heard someone threatened with that, it seemed inherently sexist to me. All women have fat around their heart because of breasts. Why are manboobs the sign of an early death and womenboobs are, you know, all we're valued for?
For some reason, those particular threats have stayed with me. Those images of clogged arteries I've seen remain burned in my mind. I avoid hormonal birth control for fear of the "blot clot, stroke and heart attack" warnings. I can't eat string cheese. Ever. And now, I have nightmares that my fate has been sealed.
When I was a kid, all the threats did was scare me. I was afraid each slice of pizza would be my last. I was afraid that if I helped shovel snow or ran around the block, that I would have that heart attack I had been promised. Every gas pain was a sign I was going to die. If someone used the expression "clogged areteries" I would have to leave the room. All the threats did was prevent me from moving my body and enjoying my food. And lately, all they are doing is making it so that I don't sleep through the night. Why do people think these threats will help? All they do is scare children into thinking they are going to die. I can actually remember asking my health teacher how young the youngest person to ever have a heart attack was so I could figure out how much time I had left.
There is still so much healing left to do.
Last night, I had a dream. I had a blood clot in my leg and I took some kind of medication, thinking it was something else, which caused the blood clot to move. I woke in a panic, insisting to my husband that any second it would reach my heart and I would have a heart attack and die.
This is not the first time that I have had that dream.
Let me back up for a second. I was never a squeamish child. At the doctors I was always well-behaved. Shots? Bring 'em on! I'd even watch them going in because I thought it was interesting. (My brother on the other hand, was crying in the parking lot!) Dissections in school? Loved 'em! Science class was always one of my favorites. The only thing that scared me, and I mean really scared me, was discussing clogged arteries.
From the time I was a small child, I was taught that the fat I ate would end up in my arteries and kill me. And that I needed to lose weight to stop this from happening. Cheese was particularly demonized. Since I was a little kid at the time and didn't really know how these things work, I would imagine the cheese actually in my arteries, coating the walls of my blood vessels. (Even as I am writing this I have to stop and clutch my chest and take deep breaths.)
I now recognize these as the death threats that all fat people receive. We are told that if we don't shape up, we are going to die and that's that. I would routinely be threatened with "you're going to die of a heart attack by x age." I think 30 was usually this magic age. Guess I should get my affairs in order, only six more years!
I was also warned, within my family, about getting "fat around my heart." I have never heard that expression from anyone outside my family. What does that even mean? It sounds kind of nice actually, like a cushion. Protection from harm. Also, even though I was only maybe 12 the first time I heard someone threatened with that, it seemed inherently sexist to me. All women have fat around their heart because of breasts. Why are manboobs the sign of an early death and womenboobs are, you know, all we're valued for?
For some reason, those particular threats have stayed with me. Those images of clogged arteries I've seen remain burned in my mind. I avoid hormonal birth control for fear of the "blot clot, stroke and heart attack" warnings. I can't eat string cheese. Ever. And now, I have nightmares that my fate has been sealed.
When I was a kid, all the threats did was scare me. I was afraid each slice of pizza would be my last. I was afraid that if I helped shovel snow or ran around the block, that I would have that heart attack I had been promised. Every gas pain was a sign I was going to die. If someone used the expression "clogged areteries" I would have to leave the room. All the threats did was prevent me from moving my body and enjoying my food. And lately, all they are doing is making it so that I don't sleep through the night. Why do people think these threats will help? All they do is scare children into thinking they are going to die. I can actually remember asking my health teacher how young the youngest person to ever have a heart attack was so I could figure out how much time I had left.
There is still so much healing left to do.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
CAKE!
Since my birthday is tomorrow and I'm in a whimsical mood, let's talk about cake! After all, fatties love cake!
Summer birthday's have their ups and downs. They are great because you often have off from school or work for them. They are not so great because (at least when I was a kid) lots of my friends were away with their families or at camp, or later, looking at colleges when I wanted to have a party. But they are great because you can do fun water-themed parties or go to amusement parks.
The thing I really didn't like about having a summer birthday was ice cream cake.
I don't care for ice cream cake. I especially didn't like it as a kid because that was back when all they had was the vanilla-crunchies-chocolate variety. (Now they make all those cool mint ones and all sorts of stuff I might be able to get behind.) But every year, guess what I got? An ice cream cake. How hard is it to buy some damn Duncan Hines people? Or just get a sheet cake from the supermarket. They're cheaper than ice cream cakes, too.
But I digress. Really, ice cream cake is the worst thing you can have in mid-July. It's better in May or even in September or October. In July, you have about thirty seconds to eat the cake. "Oh my God, what's that giant brown tidal wave sweeping away all the children?" "It's the ice cream cake, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!"
My favorite kind of cake is yellow with chocolate frosting and nonpareils, though really good vanilla frosting can be even better sometimes. Or Funfetti, which I never had until adulthood. I also love all things lemon, though lemon cake with lemon frosting can be a bit much, as I've learned. I don't really like chocolate cake, I find it too rich.
Lately, I've been getting this cake from Acme that has (no not exploding birdseed!) strawberry filling in it, whipped cream on top and real strawberries and blueberries as a garnish. I guess it's like a strawberry shortcake cake, if that makes sense.
The point is, everyone has different tastes in cake as in all food, and just because someone happens to have a summer birthday doesn't mean they want a BBQ and an ice cream cake. What kinds of cake do y'all like? Any suggestions for tomorrow? I'll leave you with a picture of one of my latest ventures in cake, rainbow cake for Mr. Sprat's (winter) birthday!
Summer birthday's have their ups and downs. They are great because you often have off from school or work for them. They are not so great because (at least when I was a kid) lots of my friends were away with their families or at camp, or later, looking at colleges when I wanted to have a party. But they are great because you can do fun water-themed parties or go to amusement parks.
The thing I really didn't like about having a summer birthday was ice cream cake.
I don't care for ice cream cake. I especially didn't like it as a kid because that was back when all they had was the vanilla-crunchies-chocolate variety. (Now they make all those cool mint ones and all sorts of stuff I might be able to get behind.) But every year, guess what I got? An ice cream cake. How hard is it to buy some damn Duncan Hines people? Or just get a sheet cake from the supermarket. They're cheaper than ice cream cakes, too.
But I digress. Really, ice cream cake is the worst thing you can have in mid-July. It's better in May or even in September or October. In July, you have about thirty seconds to eat the cake. "Oh my God, what's that giant brown tidal wave sweeping away all the children?" "It's the ice cream cake, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!"
My favorite kind of cake is yellow with chocolate frosting and nonpareils, though really good vanilla frosting can be even better sometimes. Or Funfetti, which I never had until adulthood. I also love all things lemon, though lemon cake with lemon frosting can be a bit much, as I've learned. I don't really like chocolate cake, I find it too rich.
Lately, I've been getting this cake from Acme that has (no not exploding birdseed!) strawberry filling in it, whipped cream on top and real strawberries and blueberries as a garnish. I guess it's like a strawberry shortcake cake, if that makes sense.
The point is, everyone has different tastes in cake as in all food, and just because someone happens to have a summer birthday doesn't mean they want a BBQ and an ice cream cake. What kinds of cake do y'all like? Any suggestions for tomorrow? I'll leave you with a picture of one of my latest ventures in cake, rainbow cake for Mr. Sprat's (winter) birthday!
Friday, July 1, 2011
Food Friday
I used to think that I didn't like butter. We always had the fake-est of fake spreads in my house growing up. And they tasted okay. And whenever I was exposed to real butter at restaurants, it was so hard to spread and, I thought, it didn't really taste that good anyway.
I was never a huge dieter, but there were always certain things that I didn't like and I would argue to people who would try to convince me to like them, that they just added extra calories I didn't need anyway. The best example is my distaste for condiments (ketchup, mayo, mustard, salad dressing). My mom would tell me to "learn salad dressing" and I would ask her why she was trying to get me to eat more calories, when in general she would try to get me to diet.
Though no one was ever trying to get me to like real butter, I think I probably told myself the same thing. "The fake spread is good enough and it doesn't have all those calories!" But as I started reading more Fat Acceptance literature, it became clear to me that I might just be a hypocrite for using Benecol. So I decided to try spreadable butter with canola oil.
I can't believe I ever thought I Can't Believe It's Not Butter was good. This butter is so creamy and salty and delicious, it's like I've never had a slice of buttered bread before. I literally close my eyes when I eat some on a roll, it's so good. I think I used the spreading issue as an excuse not to "waste anymore calories," and I always preferred real butter, I just told myself I didn't. I told myself that it was good enough.
What about you guys? What foods did you convince yourself you liked in the name of dieting? What did you tell yourself, wasn't good, but good enough? What foods have you discovered since?
I was never a huge dieter, but there were always certain things that I didn't like and I would argue to people who would try to convince me to like them, that they just added extra calories I didn't need anyway. The best example is my distaste for condiments (ketchup, mayo, mustard, salad dressing). My mom would tell me to "learn salad dressing" and I would ask her why she was trying to get me to eat more calories, when in general she would try to get me to diet.
Though no one was ever trying to get me to like real butter, I think I probably told myself the same thing. "The fake spread is good enough and it doesn't have all those calories!" But as I started reading more Fat Acceptance literature, it became clear to me that I might just be a hypocrite for using Benecol. So I decided to try spreadable butter with canola oil.
I can't believe I ever thought I Can't Believe It's Not Butter was good. This butter is so creamy and salty and delicious, it's like I've never had a slice of buttered bread before. I literally close my eyes when I eat some on a roll, it's so good. I think I used the spreading issue as an excuse not to "waste anymore calories," and I always preferred real butter, I just told myself I didn't. I told myself that it was good enough.
What about you guys? What foods did you convince yourself you liked in the name of dieting? What did you tell yourself, wasn't good, but good enough? What foods have you discovered since?
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Disordered Eating: No one is safe!
*Trigger warning for disordered eating*
I never really considered myself to have disordered eating habits. I had been on several diets in elementary, middle and high school and once in college but they never lasted long and I went right back to eating the way I always had after they ran their course. Occasionally, I ate out of boredom, I always liked to eat even numbers of things like cookies and I usually have to have something salty or savory after I eat something sweet. But that's about it. Or so I thought.
I've been trying intuitive eating a little bit since reading Kate Harding and Marianne Kirby's book. Mostly I've been trying to really be present for what I eat and think about what I'm having before I eat it. I already feel that what I eat is very different from what I used to eat.
Lunch is a great example. My lunch rule (if I was home, if I have work I bring leftovers or a sandwich) was two things. I had to eat two things. So if I had Hot Pockets, I also had to have a can of Spaghettios. I had discovered that one thing (be it TV dinner or whatnot) would not fill me up. So I would heat up one thing in the microwave and the other on the stove and then eat them together. Often, I would get frustrated because what I had in the house didn't "match." Soup doesn't really go with a TV dinner. Hot pockets and a ham sandwich are basically the same thing, etc. I would end up feeling over-full and sometimes a little sick. But I had to make myself full, so I ate them anyway.
Now I think about what I really want. If I want a sandwich, I'll make it and eat it and then think about if I'm still hungry. If I want a TV dinner (which isn't happening all that much anymore for other reasons) I'll eat it and then check in. I feel much better after lunch and I eat a wider variety of things. I'm learning to truly enjoy sandwiches, which I have never really liked. And I've started actually cooking my lunch instead of taking lunch as an opportunity to reheat instead. I love to cook, why not do it more?
I know this doesn't sound like much, but a couple of weeks ago, Mr. Sprat and I weren't very hungry at dinner time. It was really hot out, which tends to zap my appetite and we probably had a late lunch or something. So instead of cooking dinner, we had sandwiches and pasta salad. I would never have eaten that for dinner before FA. Sandwiches aren't dinner food, I would only get hungry later! Now I listen to my body and a sandwich sounded perfect: Cold, easy to prepare and not too big. Amazing! I felt full when I finished but not sick and when we got hungry later we had some ice cream for dessert.
It was interesting for me to really see just how disordered some aspects of my eating were, considering the fact that I haven't been on a diet in a really long time or all that concerned with fat or calories, etc. Some things are little personal quirks I guess (my rigid definitions of breakfast, lunch and dinner are my own) and some are the way I was raised or taught to eat. But if I'm noticing these things about me, who has been pretty secure about what I eat for a long time, I can only imagine what goes through the minds of some people who have serious disorders.
Too often, we taking eating for granted, we fall into eating ruts, and allow ourselves to do some pretty serious damage to our bodies and our minds because we think we shouldn't "waste time on food." Don't we owe it to ourselves to be present for our food and enjoy it? Maybe we owe it to the food. After all, it helps us do everything else.
I never really considered myself to have disordered eating habits. I had been on several diets in elementary, middle and high school and once in college but they never lasted long and I went right back to eating the way I always had after they ran their course. Occasionally, I ate out of boredom, I always liked to eat even numbers of things like cookies and I usually have to have something salty or savory after I eat something sweet. But that's about it. Or so I thought.
I've been trying intuitive eating a little bit since reading Kate Harding and Marianne Kirby's book. Mostly I've been trying to really be present for what I eat and think about what I'm having before I eat it. I already feel that what I eat is very different from what I used to eat.
Lunch is a great example. My lunch rule (if I was home, if I have work I bring leftovers or a sandwich) was two things. I had to eat two things. So if I had Hot Pockets, I also had to have a can of Spaghettios. I had discovered that one thing (be it TV dinner or whatnot) would not fill me up. So I would heat up one thing in the microwave and the other on the stove and then eat them together. Often, I would get frustrated because what I had in the house didn't "match." Soup doesn't really go with a TV dinner. Hot pockets and a ham sandwich are basically the same thing, etc. I would end up feeling over-full and sometimes a little sick. But I had to make myself full, so I ate them anyway.
Now I think about what I really want. If I want a sandwich, I'll make it and eat it and then think about if I'm still hungry. If I want a TV dinner (which isn't happening all that much anymore for other reasons) I'll eat it and then check in. I feel much better after lunch and I eat a wider variety of things. I'm learning to truly enjoy sandwiches, which I have never really liked. And I've started actually cooking my lunch instead of taking lunch as an opportunity to reheat instead. I love to cook, why not do it more?
I know this doesn't sound like much, but a couple of weeks ago, Mr. Sprat and I weren't very hungry at dinner time. It was really hot out, which tends to zap my appetite and we probably had a late lunch or something. So instead of cooking dinner, we had sandwiches and pasta salad. I would never have eaten that for dinner before FA. Sandwiches aren't dinner food, I would only get hungry later! Now I listen to my body and a sandwich sounded perfect: Cold, easy to prepare and not too big. Amazing! I felt full when I finished but not sick and when we got hungry later we had some ice cream for dessert.
It was interesting for me to really see just how disordered some aspects of my eating were, considering the fact that I haven't been on a diet in a really long time or all that concerned with fat or calories, etc. Some things are little personal quirks I guess (my rigid definitions of breakfast, lunch and dinner are my own) and some are the way I was raised or taught to eat. But if I'm noticing these things about me, who has been pretty secure about what I eat for a long time, I can only imagine what goes through the minds of some people who have serious disorders.
Too often, we taking eating for granted, we fall into eating ruts, and allow ourselves to do some pretty serious damage to our bodies and our minds because we think we shouldn't "waste time on food." Don't we owe it to ourselves to be present for our food and enjoy it? Maybe we owe it to the food. After all, it helps us do everything else.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Quick Roundup
Hello all! I am down to two papers and two finals and still plugging along. But the good news is that I will most likely have all of May, June, July and August off from school so expect a TON of blogging then. For now I'll will give you a short round-up.
FatHeffalump continues to inspire me with this post. If you have come here accidentally or still feel unsure of what FA is all about please read!
Brian at RedNo.3 has started (or restarted) a hashtag on Twitter called #thingsfatpeoplearetold. If you are a tweeter, go check it out. If not, check out his blog. It is both extremely sad (or anger-provoking) and beautiful at the same time. It is amazing how many people have shared these experiences. It's such a relief not to suffer in silence anymore.
Over the weekend I went to NYC to see BroFats (my brother) perform in a Jazz Combos concert. While I was there I had breakfast at Friendly's. You who else was there? The calories from every dish on the menu. I hadn't seen any of those menus yet and I have to say that even though I was never a huge calorie counter, it was a little triggering for me. I kept thinking, why should I waste this many calories on breakfast if I don't even like breakfast that much? And then I reminded myself that calories are an invention and if I eat until I'm full and then stop, I'll be okay. It was harder than I thought.
Finally, I am wondering how much the world would be benefited by schools teaching better communication in their classes. For one of my many papers, I am dealing with teaching the different communication styles: assertive, aggressive, passive and passive-agressive, and how to become more assertive. One of the ways to be more assertive is to use "I" statements. I think diet talk would be far more tolerable if people used "I" statements. For example, when I was visiting my brother he mentioned that he doesn't eat much meat anymore. "You'd be surprised at how much better you feel." I responded by telling him I was uncomfortable talking about it (I am not "out" about FA to my family). If he had said "I was surprised at how much better I felt" then I could have said "well I feel much better when I do eat meat." And we might have been able to leave it at that. Your experience is not everyone else's. Likewise, I am sure that someone (the media, a friend, etc) told him that he would feel better, so he thinks he does because someone else said "you" instead of "I." What other ways do you think "I" statements can be helpful in FA?
That's all for now! Maybe on Friday some pics of the Grad Ball and my trip upstate!
Love,
Mrs. Sprat
FatHeffalump continues to inspire me with this post. If you have come here accidentally or still feel unsure of what FA is all about please read!
Brian at RedNo.3 has started (or restarted) a hashtag on Twitter called #thingsfatpeoplearetold. If you are a tweeter, go check it out. If not, check out his blog. It is both extremely sad (or anger-provoking) and beautiful at the same time. It is amazing how many people have shared these experiences. It's such a relief not to suffer in silence anymore.
Over the weekend I went to NYC to see BroFats (my brother) perform in a Jazz Combos concert. While I was there I had breakfast at Friendly's. You who else was there? The calories from every dish on the menu. I hadn't seen any of those menus yet and I have to say that even though I was never a huge calorie counter, it was a little triggering for me. I kept thinking, why should I waste this many calories on breakfast if I don't even like breakfast that much? And then I reminded myself that calories are an invention and if I eat until I'm full and then stop, I'll be okay. It was harder than I thought.
Finally, I am wondering how much the world would be benefited by schools teaching better communication in their classes. For one of my many papers, I am dealing with teaching the different communication styles: assertive, aggressive, passive and passive-agressive, and how to become more assertive. One of the ways to be more assertive is to use "I" statements. I think diet talk would be far more tolerable if people used "I" statements. For example, when I was visiting my brother he mentioned that he doesn't eat much meat anymore. "You'd be surprised at how much better you feel." I responded by telling him I was uncomfortable talking about it (I am not "out" about FA to my family). If he had said "I was surprised at how much better I felt" then I could have said "well I feel much better when I do eat meat." And we might have been able to leave it at that. Your experience is not everyone else's. Likewise, I am sure that someone (the media, a friend, etc) told him that he would feel better, so he thinks he does because someone else said "you" instead of "I." What other ways do you think "I" statements can be helpful in FA?
That's all for now! Maybe on Friday some pics of the Grad Ball and my trip upstate!
Love,
Mrs. Sprat
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Fat Sex Tip # 6- Food and Sex
Food and sex are two of the greatest pleasures in life. So why not combine them?
In the past, I've had a lot of trouble combining food with other things in my life. At sweet 16 parties, I would dance and dance but I wouldn't eat. Anything. I didn't want people to look over and think "oh, look at the fat girl eating." So the idea of combining food and sex again seemed like something that I shouldn't do.
Of course, eventually I started eating at parties and being in a relationship with a man who loves me no matter what, I started incorporating food into sex.
Whipped Cream: The classic, it can be fun but the thing they don't tell you in porn is that it is COLD! Mr. Sprat isn't a big fan because of that, and I'm not a big fan of being sticky so it's not my personal choice.
Body Paint: They make body paint in a variety of flavors, but chocolate is the most common. Sometimes they come with stencils to paint patterns on each other.
Edible Underwear: I have to imagine that these come in sizes that would exclude most fatties. However you can get creative and make your own. String fruit roll-ups together or use old panties to provide a framework and cover them with something tasty!
Remember: You don't want to put anything sweet in the vulva. It can mess with your PH down there and cause all kinds of problems. Vegetables like carrots can be great for in the vagina, although I personally don't find anything terribly sexy about carrots. Feeding each other can be sexy as well. Again fruit is the common one but if you both love it (and it's not to hot to feed each other comfortably) go for it.
Also, sometimes sharing a post-coital snack can be fun and help bond the two (or three or four) of you. Mr. Sprat and I had a ritual of eating these cheese-filled pretzels after sex and just talking and being naked together. Having a little snack after sex has many benefits: You probably have worked up an appetite, it helps bond the two of you and it keeps you (or your partner) from falling asleep right away.
Anyway you slice it, sex and food are a killer combination and you shouldn't let your fat "shoulds" get in the way of it!
Love,
Mrs. Sprat
In the past, I've had a lot of trouble combining food with other things in my life. At sweet 16 parties, I would dance and dance but I wouldn't eat. Anything. I didn't want people to look over and think "oh, look at the fat girl eating." So the idea of combining food and sex again seemed like something that I shouldn't do.
Of course, eventually I started eating at parties and being in a relationship with a man who loves me no matter what, I started incorporating food into sex.
Whipped Cream: The classic, it can be fun but the thing they don't tell you in porn is that it is COLD! Mr. Sprat isn't a big fan because of that, and I'm not a big fan of being sticky so it's not my personal choice.
Body Paint: They make body paint in a variety of flavors, but chocolate is the most common. Sometimes they come with stencils to paint patterns on each other.
Edible Underwear: I have to imagine that these come in sizes that would exclude most fatties. However you can get creative and make your own. String fruit roll-ups together or use old panties to provide a framework and cover them with something tasty!
Remember: You don't want to put anything sweet in the vulva. It can mess with your PH down there and cause all kinds of problems. Vegetables like carrots can be great for in the vagina, although I personally don't find anything terribly sexy about carrots. Feeding each other can be sexy as well. Again fruit is the common one but if you both love it (and it's not to hot to feed each other comfortably) go for it.
Also, sometimes sharing a post-coital snack can be fun and help bond the two (or three or four) of you. Mr. Sprat and I had a ritual of eating these cheese-filled pretzels after sex and just talking and being naked together. Having a little snack after sex has many benefits: You probably have worked up an appetite, it helps bond the two of you and it keeps you (or your partner) from falling asleep right away.
Anyway you slice it, sex and food are a killer combination and you shouldn't let your fat "shoulds" get in the way of it!
Love,
Mrs. Sprat
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