Fat Sex Tip # 5- Intercourse is Overrated

There is a hierarchy that all of us learn when it comes to sex.  First, we kiss, then we touch, then we lick and then we fuck.  Once that last one starts, the others become foreplay, they become additions to the "main event."  We even go so far as to say that someone who has only had oral sex is still "technically a virgin" because they haven't had "real sex" yet.

First of all, to take this position (so to speak) we are coming from a heterosexist viewpoint.  For some types of relationship intercourse is not possible, or is (gasp!) not even desired.  Not all gay men have anal sex.  Not all lesbians use strap ons or other kinds of dildos.  So why then must all heterosexual couples have intercourse?

I want to take a minute to stress that I don't for a second believe that fat people are less capable of having intercourse.  If penis-in-vagina is what does it for you, that's great.  I just want to encourage people to expand their horizons and get rid of this silly hierarchy.  And honestly, I think there are a lot of thin people out there too who would enjoy other types of sex more than intercourse.

One great idea is for the two of you to lie down next to each other, either both on your backs or sides or some combination (I find having Mr. Sprat on his side and me on my back works best for us) and then give hand-jobs to each other at the same time.  It can be a very intimate position because you are both laying close to each other so you can kiss, look into each other's eyes, etc.  At the same time it's a very comfortable position because you are both lying down and relaxing.  For me personally, having sex while both lying down is next to impossible because of my thighs, so this is a great alternative.  Also because you have more control over your motions, you can time it so that you can orgasm together, or so that you can have multiple orgasms.

There are literally thousands of other combinations where you can stimulate each other at the same time or take turns and these often go to the wayside once the big "I" is introduced.  Nothing about mutual masturbation  or oral sex, or 69 isn't sex, it's just a different kind.  And for some people with certain preferences they can be a much more enjoyable experience (I love my husbands penis, but it just doesn't make me orgasm the same way his fingers do!)

So get creative!  If the petting you are doing before intercourse feels amazing, keep doing it!  If you miss the blow jobs you used to get before you got married, ask for one!  Just be sure to reciprocate...

~Mrs. Sprat

OOTD- Hot in Pink

Turtleneck: Old Navy

Dress: Snap (Bought at Ross)

Hot Pink Tights: Hue (Probably from JC Penney)

Shoes: Bongo (Kmart)

I love this dress because it has pockets, and it has elastic at the top so it stays up (for the most part).  I like pairing it with a turtleneck and tights or leggings of the same color, I think it's a fun look without being to fancy for work or school.  I wore it with heels in the picture but in reality I wore flats to work.  I think it's a fun look, but I'm not sure what to do with the dress in the spring yet...

I'm really glad I wore it, I was afraid I would look to fancy for Old Navy, but I got some compliments on it and I felt good during my shift so I think it was worth it.  

~Mrs. Sprat

Fat Sex Tip #4- Mattress!

After two years of sleeping on a 25 year-old mattress, Mr. Sprat and I finally bit the bullet and bought a new mattress/boxspring.  Since moving on our own two years ago, our sex life has been okay, but certainly not what it was when we were in college.  At first I chalked it up to all our new "grown-up" worries and responsibilities (though in some ways they decreased after college) and also to the fact that our relationship was growing and changing as we moved from being dating to engaged to married.

Looking back, I now think a big part of it was the fact that we had moved from living in one room to having a whole apartment.  When we were in college, we did EVERYTHING in bed.  We ate dinner, did homework, watched TV, EVERYTHING.  Once we got an apartment, the TV moved to the living room, the computers moved to the living room, and in our most recent place, to the office and our meals shifted to the kitchen/dining room/ living room.  So we went from living in bed, to only heading there when our day was completely done.

In the last two months, we got another TV, so we moved our old one back to the bedroom and we got a new mattress.  Our sex life has seen a drastic change already.  The bed is so much higher than the other one, so positions work in totally different ways.  One of our favorites in college was to do doggie style with me on my hands and knees on the bed and Mr. Sprat standing next to the bed.  It worked on our old bed, but not very well.  This one is so nice and high, it's perfect.  Also, since the bed is much thicker, there's no crashing into the boxspring with every thrust so our backs don't take a beating during intercourse.  And, because its new and springy, my knees don't hurt at all during cowgirl, and Mr. Sprat's arms hurt less from holding up his own weight during missionary.

So this is my fat sex tip of the day:  Keep your mattress updated.  Not only does it help you to sleep better, thereby increasing your energy for all things sexy, but it also can help make sex more comfortable and pleasurable.  Really, your mattress is your primary sex toy, so it  pays to have a good one.

~ Mrs. Sprat

Aunt B.

My second trip in the last two weeks (I may post about the other later) was to go and see my husband's Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles and Cousins.  I was really excited for the trip because Mr. Sprat's grandparents are the kind of grandparents everyone wants to have.  Grandma spoils us rotten with Ham Loaf dinners and trips to the Chinese buffet and all she is concerned about is if we've had enough to eat.  I was really excited to go because I was expecting lots of good food and no "gosh are you sure you should be eating that" crap.

Mostly, the trip was just as I had hoped.  Lots of being spoiled and no guilt.  They don't even do it to themselves, which is nice.  I hate hearing about how someone else shouldn't eat the thing they just ate that you just ate too. But at one point during dinner, Grandma and Grandpap started talking about Aunt B.

Aunt B.  died several years ago (before I'd even met my husband) from breast cancer and was loved by everyone in Mr. Sprat's entire family.  One year when she'd had chemo so her hair was really short, she dressed up as Drew Carey for Halloween.  That takes some balls. She also used to volunteer as a patient escort at Planned Parenthood, to help get people inside past the protesters.  From everything I've heard, it sounds like I would have loved her and that we would have had a lot in common.  She always seemed to me like the kind of person who didn't care what anyone thought and just did what she wanted to do.

Sadly, the story was about how she dieted one time and got down to 140 pounds and looked "amazing."  Grandma couldn't stop talking about how good she looked or how different she looked.  At one point she even said that she couldn't even tell it was her, she couldn't see B. in there at all.

I was horrified.  Why would they be impressed that she didn't look like herself at at all?  Who wants to not be his or herself?  Also, according to my husband, when she was dying she wasted away and looked terrible. It's in very poor taste to comment on how good she looked thin, considering it would later be a sign that she was dying.  I was shocked both that B. would have dieted in the first place and also that Grandma and Grandpap would be so impressed by it, all over a hamloaf dinner while looking across the table at their fat granddaughter -in-law.

It hurt a lot.  I wanted to yell and scream.  I wanted to say "no, not you guys, you don't care about weight."  I wanted to keep my image of Aunt B. as being someone like me. I thought I had found a corner of the world where diet culture hadn't totally permeated.   It feels like sometimes there are no safe places.

~Mrs. Sprat

Back in Action

Hi all!

I just wanted to apologize for the lack of posts, I've been away for the holidays traveling to parts unknown.  But I got back today and I'm ready to get back to work.  Stay tuned!

~Mrs. Sprat

Outfit of the Day: I'm Dreaming of a Fat Christmas

One of my Christmas presents was a new camera!  So I figured my Christmas outfit would be a great first OOTD.  I'm not going to do a whole lot of these but I would like to show off a few of my finds:

Dress: Ross (Wishes Wishes Wishes) 

Sweater:  Fashion Bug

Leggings:  Old Navy

Shoes:  Kmart (Bongo)

I ordered red tights to wear with this outfit from We Love Colors, but they didn't make it in time. I may have to just wear this again when we go see my family next week, I think red will really make the outfit.  The best part about the dress is that it has pockets.  I love pockets and it is totally unfair that women's clothing so often lacks them.  The sweater is great too, because I can wear it with a dress like this, or it still looks good with jeans and a cami.  

There's one without the sweater.  It really is a cute dress, and not a style I would have bought before reading Fatshion blogs, but I have to say I love it!

~Mrs. Sprat

Sex Tip #3- Laugh

There is this idea of sex that it has to be serious and romantic in order to be good.  Sometimes that's true.  It can be beautiful to just be swept up and made love to (although notice the lack of consent in this "traditional" model of sex, but that is another post entirely) but talking, experimenting and yes, even laughing can make for a great sex experience.

Many people are too afraid to try something new, for fear of looking foolish or it not working or falling off the bed, etc.  But as your mother always said (oh good, now I've brought up your mother while you're having sex) how do you know it won't work, unless you try it.   Stuff happens.  Sometimes you read about an awesome position and then when you try it there's a scream and a thud.  Don't be discouraged, laugh it off, and try something else.  Just because you've found something that leads to orgasm every time, doesn't mean you should stop looking.  Laughing during sex can cement bonds and strengthen relationships, no matter what Hollywood tells you.

Also, laughter feels good.  Sex feels good.  It is natural to combine the two.  So go ahead, laugh when one of you starts making a squishy noise.  Laugh when one of you trips, or makes a funny face or farts in the middle of doggie style.  The alternatives are far more dangerous.

~Mrs. Sprat