Fat Sex Toy Review- Fukuoku 9000

It's time for our first sex toy review here on Lipid Love:  The Fukuoku 9000!

I'd been thinking about getting a fingertip vibrator since I saw this one reviewed on Talk Sex with Sue Johansen.  Basically you strap the vibrator to your finger and put it wherever you would normally use manual power.  The reason I was interested in it is because I thought it would be a good during-intercourse vibrator, since it's small and attaches directly to your finger.  It works well because when I'm on top or sometimes during doggie-style, I can reach my clitoris but I have trouble grinding/thrusting and manually stimulating myself at the same time.  (You know the old saying "I can't walk and chew gum"???)  

It's great because it's nice and small so it fits even when there's a lot going on.  When I'm on top, there's just not enough room for a penis, a whole bunch of fat rolls and a big honkin' vibrator all at the same time, this minimizes that problem.  And since it fits right on the finger there are lots of possible uses:  Clitoris, testicles, grundle, nipples, you name it!  Also, it comes with three different covers which have different grooves on them for different sensations.

Pros:

-Small

-Quiet

-Powerful

-Easy to clean (just remove the covers and wash them.  It also comes with a carrying case, which is nice.)

-Easy to use.  

-Cost:  Between $15 and $40 dollars depending on where you get it.  

Cons:

-It only has one speed.  I personally like to have two so I can jack it up when things get more intense.  That being said it is a very powerful motor in it.  

-It takes watch batteries, which could get annoying/expensive to replace.  

-Though the finger hole does expand, it's made of two pieces of plastic so for people with fatter fingers it can start to pinch a little.  

Overall I would give this an overall rating of 5 Orgasms and a Fatty-Friendly Rating of 4.  It's hard to judge, because it's smallness is actually a benefit for being Fatty-Friendly, at least in the case of as a during-intercourse vibrator, but the pinching of the finger spot brings it down.  I'm sure there's a way they could make it a little more flexible for people with big fingers.  

Happy Buzzing,
Mrs. Sprat

*Photo courtesy of Amazon.com

Should

I did something I wasn't supposed to do yesterday.  Something that I haven't done in years.  Actually, I'm not really sure if I can remember ever doing it.  I bought... a belt.

Well, actually I bought two belts.

The last time I can remember having a belt, was middle school.  I think I had one of those fabric ones with the metal clasp that just slides and kind of clicks into place. I also think that it came with a pair of pants that I bought, I don't think that I specifically bought it or anything.  At that time I was still occasionally tucking in my shirt, and then "blousing" it out so you couldn't really tell where my stomach was.  (My mom taught me that one.)

I haven't worn a belt (or tucked my shirt in) since.  Now, I guess a small part of that is because I genuinely don't like the look of tucked in shirts.  Honestly, I think it looks kind of nerdy.  But there are definitely times when outfits (especially skirts) call for tucked in shirts.  And I can remember many times walking past the belts in JC Penney longingly, because they had those cute Relic ones with the bottle caps, or hollographic whatevers and I knew I had no use for them.

I mean really, why would a fat person ever need a belt anyway?  Belts hold up your pants, a fat person has fat to do that for them.  (Never mind that my pants are ALWAYS falling down because my butt is flatter than my stomach so I start to slide.)  So I hadn't bought a  belt in years, and I certainly hadn't tucked a shirt either.

It's interesting the rules we follow, without even realizing that we do them sometimes.  I personally never followed the "no-sleeveless" rule, though my mother would force me to wear shawls with nice dresses.  She used to pin them to the dress or (in the case of my middle school graduation) tuck them in through the sleeves.  I never really cared much for that rule mostly because I'm always hot.  I would start to dance at a sweet 16 and it would come un-pinned or else I would just take it off so I could dance more comfortably.  My mother would ask me what happened and I would say that it fell off, and she would just shake her head at me.

But I never wore belts, I knew that was something only thin people did.  And I never wore my shirt tucked in.  I rarely wore dresses until college when a friend re-introduced me to girdles.  And I never, ever, ever did anything (besides shower) without a bra on.

That's another one that I learned from my mother.  She would shower in her bra if she could find a way.  She wears hers to sleep, to the bathroom to take the shower, back out again, in the pool.  Always.  One day a few months after I started wearing training bras, I decided to go a day without one.  I remember, I was wearing a yellow t-shirt and it was a Saturday so it wasn't like anyone was going to see me anyway.

My mother looked me up and down.  "You're not wearing a bra today" she accused.

 "Nah, I thought I'd give it a rest today," I replied.

"You should probably wear one."

 I felt so sad.  I was chained to them now, forever, just like Mom.  It wasn't until Mr. Sprat that I stopped wearing them when I sleep, now, even occasionally when I'm home all day.  It's amazing how fast the scars I was led to believe all big-chested women have faded after I stopped abusing my body.

So eventually, I stopped wearing my bra all the time.  And eventually I started wearing dresses more.  And I started telling Mom it was my own business whether my arms would be covered or not.  And yesterday I bought a belt.  And I bought skirts with the intent to tuck.

For so long, I thought there were just some things I couldn't do because I was fat.   I was told there were some things that just weren't my rights, because I was fat.  But I moved out on my own, and I slept without a bra and I wore dresses and somehow, I found a boyfriend and got married  (and found a wedding dress!) And the police didn't kick in my door and tell me to give it back.   And I realized that maybe I could have anything I wanted, if I just worked at it and surrounded myself with people who would support me.

So yesterday, I bought a belt.

Fat Sex Tip # 5- Intercourse is Overrated

There is a hierarchy that all of us learn when it comes to sex.  First, we kiss, then we touch, then we lick and then we fuck.  Once that last one starts, the others become foreplay, they become additions to the "main event."  We even go so far as to say that someone who has only had oral sex is still "technically a virgin" because they haven't had "real sex" yet.

First of all, to take this position (so to speak) we are coming from a heterosexist viewpoint.  For some types of relationship intercourse is not possible, or is (gasp!) not even desired.  Not all gay men have anal sex.  Not all lesbians use strap ons or other kinds of dildos.  So why then must all heterosexual couples have intercourse?

I want to take a minute to stress that I don't for a second believe that fat people are less capable of having intercourse.  If penis-in-vagina is what does it for you, that's great.  I just want to encourage people to expand their horizons and get rid of this silly hierarchy.  And honestly, I think there are a lot of thin people out there too who would enjoy other types of sex more than intercourse.

One great idea is for the two of you to lie down next to each other, either both on your backs or sides or some combination (I find having Mr. Sprat on his side and me on my back works best for us) and then give hand-jobs to each other at the same time.  It can be a very intimate position because you are both laying close to each other so you can kiss, look into each other's eyes, etc.  At the same time it's a very comfortable position because you are both lying down and relaxing.  For me personally, having sex while both lying down is next to impossible because of my thighs, so this is a great alternative.  Also because you have more control over your motions, you can time it so that you can orgasm together, or so that you can have multiple orgasms.

There are literally thousands of other combinations where you can stimulate each other at the same time or take turns and these often go to the wayside once the big "I" is introduced.  Nothing about mutual masturbation  or oral sex, or 69 isn't sex, it's just a different kind.  And for some people with certain preferences they can be a much more enjoyable experience (I love my husbands penis, but it just doesn't make me orgasm the same way his fingers do!)

So get creative!  If the petting you are doing before intercourse feels amazing, keep doing it!  If you miss the blow jobs you used to get before you got married, ask for one!  Just be sure to reciprocate...

~Mrs. Sprat

OOTD- Hot in Pink

Turtleneck: Old Navy

Dress: Snap (Bought at Ross)

Hot Pink Tights: Hue (Probably from JC Penney)

Shoes: Bongo (Kmart)

I love this dress because it has pockets, and it has elastic at the top so it stays up (for the most part).  I like pairing it with a turtleneck and tights or leggings of the same color, I think it's a fun look without being to fancy for work or school.  I wore it with heels in the picture but in reality I wore flats to work.  I think it's a fun look, but I'm not sure what to do with the dress in the spring yet...

I'm really glad I wore it, I was afraid I would look to fancy for Old Navy, but I got some compliments on it and I felt good during my shift so I think it was worth it.  

~Mrs. Sprat

Fat Sex Tip #4- Mattress!

After two years of sleeping on a 25 year-old mattress, Mr. Sprat and I finally bit the bullet and bought a new mattress/boxspring.  Since moving on our own two years ago, our sex life has been okay, but certainly not what it was when we were in college.  At first I chalked it up to all our new "grown-up" worries and responsibilities (though in some ways they decreased after college) and also to the fact that our relationship was growing and changing as we moved from being dating to engaged to married.

Looking back, I now think a big part of it was the fact that we had moved from living in one room to having a whole apartment.  When we were in college, we did EVERYTHING in bed.  We ate dinner, did homework, watched TV, EVERYTHING.  Once we got an apartment, the TV moved to the living room, the computers moved to the living room, and in our most recent place, to the office and our meals shifted to the kitchen/dining room/ living room.  So we went from living in bed, to only heading there when our day was completely done.

In the last two months, we got another TV, so we moved our old one back to the bedroom and we got a new mattress.  Our sex life has seen a drastic change already.  The bed is so much higher than the other one, so positions work in totally different ways.  One of our favorites in college was to do doggie style with me on my hands and knees on the bed and Mr. Sprat standing next to the bed.  It worked on our old bed, but not very well.  This one is so nice and high, it's perfect.  Also, since the bed is much thicker, there's no crashing into the boxspring with every thrust so our backs don't take a beating during intercourse.  And, because its new and springy, my knees don't hurt at all during cowgirl, and Mr. Sprat's arms hurt less from holding up his own weight during missionary.

So this is my fat sex tip of the day:  Keep your mattress updated.  Not only does it help you to sleep better, thereby increasing your energy for all things sexy, but it also can help make sex more comfortable and pleasurable.  Really, your mattress is your primary sex toy, so it  pays to have a good one.

~ Mrs. Sprat

Aunt B.

My second trip in the last two weeks (I may post about the other later) was to go and see my husband's Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles and Cousins.  I was really excited for the trip because Mr. Sprat's grandparents are the kind of grandparents everyone wants to have.  Grandma spoils us rotten with Ham Loaf dinners and trips to the Chinese buffet and all she is concerned about is if we've had enough to eat.  I was really excited to go because I was expecting lots of good food and no "gosh are you sure you should be eating that" crap.

Mostly, the trip was just as I had hoped.  Lots of being spoiled and no guilt.  They don't even do it to themselves, which is nice.  I hate hearing about how someone else shouldn't eat the thing they just ate that you just ate too. But at one point during dinner, Grandma and Grandpap started talking about Aunt B.

Aunt B.  died several years ago (before I'd even met my husband) from breast cancer and was loved by everyone in Mr. Sprat's entire family.  One year when she'd had chemo so her hair was really short, she dressed up as Drew Carey for Halloween.  That takes some balls. She also used to volunteer as a patient escort at Planned Parenthood, to help get people inside past the protesters.  From everything I've heard, it sounds like I would have loved her and that we would have had a lot in common.  She always seemed to me like the kind of person who didn't care what anyone thought and just did what she wanted to do.

Sadly, the story was about how she dieted one time and got down to 140 pounds and looked "amazing."  Grandma couldn't stop talking about how good she looked or how different she looked.  At one point she even said that she couldn't even tell it was her, she couldn't see B. in there at all.

I was horrified.  Why would they be impressed that she didn't look like herself at at all?  Who wants to not be his or herself?  Also, according to my husband, when she was dying she wasted away and looked terrible. It's in very poor taste to comment on how good she looked thin, considering it would later be a sign that she was dying.  I was shocked both that B. would have dieted in the first place and also that Grandma and Grandpap would be so impressed by it, all over a hamloaf dinner while looking across the table at their fat granddaughter -in-law.

It hurt a lot.  I wanted to yell and scream.  I wanted to say "no, not you guys, you don't care about weight."  I wanted to keep my image of Aunt B. as being someone like me. I thought I had found a corner of the world where diet culture hadn't totally permeated.   It feels like sometimes there are no safe places.

~Mrs. Sprat

Back in Action

Hi all!

I just wanted to apologize for the lack of posts, I've been away for the holidays traveling to parts unknown.  But I got back today and I'm ready to get back to work.  Stay tuned!

~Mrs. Sprat