Mixed Messages

Going to visit family over the holidays always seems to provide fodder for my blog.  This year, it's gotten me thinking about mixed messages.  The diet industry thrives on mixed messages; anything that is both so widespread and so incredibly unsuccessful would have to.  If we spend $60 billion dollars a year (and we do) on something that has a 5% success rate (and it does), there has to be a lot of cognitive dissonance going on here.

While visiting Mr. Sprat's extended family over New Year's, a lot of food was offered to us.  This year we committed ourselves ahead of time to follow the basic tenets of intuitive eating:  Eat only when you are hungry, only the foods you want to eat, and stop when you are full.  It was difficult to say the least.  Guilt was liberally heaped onto most meals.  Grandma would try to push the last piece on us (mostly on Mr. Sprat, to be fair, which is a whole other problem.)  She would tell him how it would go to waste, and say "just one more, just one more."  When we suggested refrigerating leftovers, we were met with frustration and eventually surrender.

During the same trip, we were also met with the most diet talk we had encountered during the holidays.  Mostly, everyone was surprisingly well-behaved when it came to the subject of dieting, which was quite a relief.  However, minutes after being told that our food would go to the birds if we did not eat it (more guilt), we would hear stories about different diets that they had tried, people they know who lost weight and looked "so much better," and how "good" they had been during or after the very same meal that we were pressured to finish for them.

When we are children we are taught that certain foods are bad, they are junk.  Then when we get an A on a report card or celebrate a birthday, those "bad" foods are give to us as a reward.  How confusing is that?  We are told to clear our plate because of starving children, but if we want seconds or a snack later, we are told that we are bad.

Diet commercials use the same mixed messages.  In a Weight Watchers commercial this year (which played every single commercial break on New Years Eve, and I believe sponsored whatever it was that we were watching as well) Jennifer Hudson sings about freedom.  Weight Watchers brings freedom?  Having to go to weekly meetings, count out all your food, keep track of everything you eat online, looking up menus before going to restaurants to make sure there is something you can eat?  How is that freedom?  Are we becoming free from stigma by going on diets?  Diets don't work, chances are you will be fatter and even more oppressed when you finish this round of dieting. And even if you do manage to lose weight, are you free then?  What happens if you aren't thin enough?  What if you stop going to meetings?  What if people find out you used to be fat?  Does the stigma ever really end?  What freedom are they promising us?

These double messages are so harmful.  Being told that certain foods are "bad" and then being given them as rewards leads to confusion, guilt and shame.  Being commanded to "clear your plate" to the point of feeling stuffed or sick, and then being criticized for your size has the same effect and can also cause you to lose the ability to know when you are full.  If we stop giving these messages at home, then they will seem more obviously ridiculous when coming from Weight Watchers or some other diet company.  We need to let our family and friends eat in a way that works for them, a way that comes from within.  If we can do that, then the cycle of guilt and shame surrounding food can finally end.

Fat Fashion 12

Just a quick OOTD, my camera was a little wonky, sorry about the quality.

Cardigan:  Avenue

Tank/Skirt/Leggings: Old Navy

Shoes:  Marshalls

Jewelry:  JC Penney

I love these open-front cardigans, they are so great to wear over just about everything.  The skirt is kind of hard to see, it actually is more a-line than it looks, the tank just kind of pressed it down.  I like to wear this skirt with a tucked in shirt as well and a cardi over it to show off the skirt more.  I'll try to get some better quality pics for the next one!

Have a great weekend!

~Mrs. Sprat

20 Things You Can Do To Love Your Body

In honor of Love Your Body Day, here are 20 things you can do to love your body everyday!   Feel free to add more in the comments.

1.  Wear clothes based on how they feel, not (necessarily) how they look.
2.  Get as much sleep as your body needs.  (8 hours is a general rule, some people need more, some less.)
3.  Get a new haircut (or shave your head!)
4.  Dance!
5.  Eat foods that you love (no guilt!)
6.  Get a massage
7.  Soak your feet
8.  Buy a new outfit that people your size "aren't supposed to wear" and wear it proudly!
9.  Go swimming (or play field hockey or do yoga or take a long walk and look at the leaves change colors)
10.  Have dessert!
11.  Take up belly dancing (or swing dancing or square dancing or pole dancing....)
12.  Snuggle in your favorite chair with a good book
13.  Show off your scars, they are a part of who you are
14.  Tell the face in the mirror that you love him or her
15.  Have sex!
16.  Cook a meal from scratch
17.  Go without makeup for a day
18.  Take a long, relaxing shower or bath
19.  Masturbate!
20.  Thank your body for all the amazing things that it has done in the past and all the amazing things it will do in the future.

Have a great Love Your Body Day!

~Mrs. Sprat

Fats in Action

Hi everyone!

I am going to be participating in a charity walk for Lupus in a couple of weeks.  I know October is Breast Cancer month, but if you have a little bit left to give, it would be greatly appreciated.  Lupus affects thousands of people and has no known cure.  My husband's mother passed away from lupus-related complications when he was a boy.  Anything you can give would be great and would also be supporting a fat walk participant!

http://www.active.com/donate/lupusloop2011/KGainor1

Thanks everyone!

~Mrs. Sprat

Fat Fashion Friday 11

Finally, a return to fatshion!

Hat- J.C. Penney's

Poncho- Fashion Bug (Loop 18)

Long Sleeve T- Old Navy 

Jeans- Old Navy

Boots- Rainbow

Earrings- Claire's

First off, the poncho.  Not my colors, not even my style but this shirt is made of such a soft sweater/sweatshirt kind of a material that when I tried it on I loved it.  That being said, it's pilling already after two wearings!  Fashion Bug now carries a junior plus section called Loop 18 which has some great pieces, definitely worth checking out.  And speaking of soft, the long sleeve T I am wearing is from Old Navy and again, it's super soft and comfy and comes in lots of colors.  I bought this in the "straight" sizes but they have similar ones online up to 4X.  

The boots.  I have never had knee length boots, ever.  I went to Avenue a few weeks ago and tried on a pair of their wide-calf boots and they STILL weren't wide enough for my giant calves of DOOM!  But on a whim I went into Rainbow, after falling in love with these in the window and low and behold, they actually fit.  Sadly, they too are deteriorating after only a few wearings, but I will wear them until they are THREADS, since I've never been able to buy boots like these before.  

Happy fall, everyone!  Have a great weekend!

~Mrs. Sprat

Women as Gatekeepers

Sorry for the lack of posting, school has officially started and the way my classes are structured means a lot of work now, but a lot less after Nov 1.  

In class a couple of weekends ago, one of my fellow students brought up a study that indicates that men in committed relationships live longer than their single counterparts.  She "proved" this to be true by telling us what her boyfriend wants to eat vs. what she makes him eat.  

We have seen this a lot before:  Hillary Clinton was blamed for Bill Clinton's weight gain during his presidency and charged with getting him to lose weight and eat "better."  Michelle Obama not only puts her children on very public diets but also has to control the President's eating as well.  Even in my own family, my in-laws make comments such as "she feeds you well" while looking at Mr. Sprat's protruding belly, etc.  

Let's take a step back and remember that these are grown men we are talking about.  Grown men do not need women to "feed them."  Plain and simple.  Men are just as capable at making food choices as women are.  Granted, because of the diet culture in this country, neither are really fully equipped, but that still proves my point.  A man who eats nothing but pizza is no worse off than a man who's wife makes him eat nothing but salads.  

But this is not new ground, we've discussed this before.  Women are seen as gatekeepers.  As with sexuality (delaying intercourse), women are socialized to believe that they have to take care of a man and make sure that he doesn't do anything reckless, in addition to taking care of herself.  

What really got me angry though, was the assumption that it was dietary choices that led the married men to live longer.  Again, we see the conflation of eating and health.  A person who eats certain foods will not live as long as those who abstain, and since it is the wife's job to control these eating habits, she is charged with his life.  

Maybe the reason the partnered men lived longer is because of the effects of love on brain chemistry.  Maybe it is because routine is comforting or somehow safer.  Maybe (though I personally find this dubious as well) it is because they are less likely to contract an STD.  Maybe the study was poorly conducted and all the partnered people in it also shared similar socioeconomic backgrounds or other factors.  Or maybe, men who live longer are more likely to get married and not the other way around.  Any way you look at it, diet is just one possibility in why the study turned out the way it did. 

I don't know.  I haven't read the study, though I've heard it mentioned a number of times, always to prove a different point.  I only know what I heard, which was more conflating weight and food choices with health and more affirming of women as gatekeepers, who must protect men from everything from sex to food, while simultaneously protecting themselves.  Those roles are not good for men and they certainly aren't very good for women either.  Couples need to support each other in however they choose to eat and single people should not be shamed into relationships to prevent death.  If everyone were more confident on how to feed themselves, the diet industry would have much less of a hold on people and that would be a wonderful thing.  

This Cannot Happen

I have been watching this story for a few days now in disbelief.  A loving family, torn apart because the parents and children share fatness as one of their traits.  There are so many children already in foster care and up for adoption who will NEVER FIND PARENTS and rather than seeking out a home for those, people are removing children from their families because of weight stigma.  This is a disgrace.  If you would like to do something about this here are the links to some of the officers involved in this case.  It is only a matter of time before this starts happening right here in the US.

Dundee County chief executive David Dorward: david.dorward@dundeecity.gov.uk.

Dundee County public relations head Les Roy: les.roy@dundeecity.gov.uk

Dundee County education director Michael Wood: michael.wood@dundeecity.gov.uk

Dundee County Social Services direct Alan G. Baird: alan.baird@dundeecity.gov.uk