In honor of Love Your Body Day, here are 20 things you can do to love your body everyday! Feel free to add more in the comments.
1. Wear clothes based on how they feel, not (necessarily) how they look.
2. Get as much sleep as your body needs. (8 hours is a general rule, some people need more, some less.)
3. Get a new haircut (or shave your head!)
4. Dance!
5. Eat foods that you love (no guilt!)
6. Get a massage
7. Soak your feet
8. Buy a new outfit that people your size "aren't supposed to wear" and wear it proudly!
9. Go swimming (or play field hockey or do yoga or take a long walk and look at the leaves change colors)
10. Have dessert!
11. Take up belly dancing (or swing dancing or square dancing or pole dancing....)
12. Snuggle in your favorite chair with a good book
13. Show off your scars, they are a part of who you are
14. Tell the face in the mirror that you love him or her
15. Have sex!
16. Cook a meal from scratch
17. Go without makeup for a day
18. Take a long, relaxing shower or bath
19. Masturbate!
20. Thank your body for all the amazing things that it has done in the past and all the amazing things it will do in the future.
Have a great Love Your Body Day!
~Mrs. Sprat
Showing posts with label confidence. Show all posts
Showing posts with label confidence. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Friday, August 12, 2011
NAAFA Convention 2011: Day 2 Sex and Fashion
Day two of the NAAFA convention started, for me, with a workshop about fat admirers. One of my classmates was on a panel discussion about both men and women who find they are attracted to fat partners. First, we talked in separate groups (all the males and all the females) and then came together to share what we had learned. It was interesting to hear everyone's take on the concept of being an FA and to really talk about the elephant in the room for much of the conference: The thin, male FA's who mostly attended the evening social events. There was enough in that workshop to generate an entire blog post, which I will do at some point but for the sake of telling you about NAAFA I will try to keep it short.
It seems to me that two types of FA's emerged. One group were the men who attended the workshops, talked to the women and seem to support our cause. The other group consisted of basically silent men, who did not attend the workshops and made a lot of the women feel uncomfortable when they were hanging around the dances. It's a shame the second group didn't come to the FA workshop, I would really have liked to hear from them. I think the same two categories can be applied to the so-called "normal" men who like thin women. Some of the FA's were there because they really support our goals and maybe already have a fat partner or had one in the past and want to be a part of our culture. The others were objectifying us and only wanted us for our bodies, or for sex. Or maybe it is just that they are so shy from years of being told they were freaks by the other boys that they were too afraid to talk to us. I hope if that is the case, that we can continue to have a workshop like this so that maybe they can feel brave enough to come and help us understand them.
It was also interesting to discuss the concept of a female FA, an idea that was new to me. In our society, it is hard to imagine female FA's because being fat for a man and being fat for a woman is such a different experience. Often the only time a fat character is on a TV show is the fat husband of a thin wife. It is acceptable in a certain way so it doesn't have a name like FA's do (The "abnormal" thing is always named before the "normal." Homosexual came before heterosexual, trans came before cis, etc.) With women who like fat women, again, it is not seen as unusual because there is this idea of a different beauty standard among lesbians due to their (relative) freedom from the wants of men. Finally, all of the women at the seminar were fat (not surprisingly due to the audience.) so there is also this unspoken idea that a fat women couldn't be with a thin partner. Of course fat women would be with fat men because "it's all they can get." What would have happened if one of the women in the group said she exclusively liked thin men or women, I wonder. Would she be a traitor, or just have her own taste like the FA's? What do you guys think?
Following the FA/FFA workshop, I attended a diversity workshop focused on how to get other kinds of people to join NAAFA and participate in our events. I liked the workshop because it was goal-oriented and involved us breaking into small groups and working together. Being randomly paired with some of the NAAFA members (including the chair of the board) helped me get to know more people than my convention clique as it were, and get to throw some ideas out there. Some of the material we discussed is already in the works!
Saturday night meant it was time for the fashion show. It was a great experience getting to model! What a thrill to do my big, fat turn on the catwalk, to the screaming NAAFA members, and in a VERY expensive dress by the designer Toula. I also modeled for Ashaki Charles designs, a dress much closer to my own clothing budget. It was so empowering to strut my stuff with all my new friends and help bring in some money for NAAFA by auctioning off some of the pieces. I am hoping that SOMEONE took pictures so that I can post them here (850 dollar dress, how's that for an OOTD?!)
After the auction there was more dancing, including several men and women with limited mobility taking scooters and chairs up to the dance floor so they could join in on the fun! I personally had used up all my moves during the fashion show so I had a nice, quiet talk with a new friend and then went to the pool party.
The last time I'd worn a two-piece bathing suit was probably my 4th birthday party so I knew it was time to get a bikini for the conference. It was so much fun to wear what I wanted instead of what I was "supposed to." And it was so nice to be surrounded by supportive people who all told me I looked amazing, instead of telling me how I can minimize myself. It was also really inspiring to see other people, bigger than me, smaller than me, whatever, all wearing their bathing suits proudly and having a blast!
Talk about an empowering day: Discussing sexuality, working with the NAAFA members on diversity ideas, strutting my stuff at a fashion show, watching everyone exercise their right to dance and sporting my two-piece with a bunch of rad fatties! What a day!
It seems to me that two types of FA's emerged. One group were the men who attended the workshops, talked to the women and seem to support our cause. The other group consisted of basically silent men, who did not attend the workshops and made a lot of the women feel uncomfortable when they were hanging around the dances. It's a shame the second group didn't come to the FA workshop, I would really have liked to hear from them. I think the same two categories can be applied to the so-called "normal" men who like thin women. Some of the FA's were there because they really support our goals and maybe already have a fat partner or had one in the past and want to be a part of our culture. The others were objectifying us and only wanted us for our bodies, or for sex. Or maybe it is just that they are so shy from years of being told they were freaks by the other boys that they were too afraid to talk to us. I hope if that is the case, that we can continue to have a workshop like this so that maybe they can feel brave enough to come and help us understand them.
It was also interesting to discuss the concept of a female FA, an idea that was new to me. In our society, it is hard to imagine female FA's because being fat for a man and being fat for a woman is such a different experience. Often the only time a fat character is on a TV show is the fat husband of a thin wife. It is acceptable in a certain way so it doesn't have a name like FA's do (The "abnormal" thing is always named before the "normal." Homosexual came before heterosexual, trans came before cis, etc.) With women who like fat women, again, it is not seen as unusual because there is this idea of a different beauty standard among lesbians due to their (relative) freedom from the wants of men. Finally, all of the women at the seminar were fat (not surprisingly due to the audience.) so there is also this unspoken idea that a fat women couldn't be with a thin partner. Of course fat women would be with fat men because "it's all they can get." What would have happened if one of the women in the group said she exclusively liked thin men or women, I wonder. Would she be a traitor, or just have her own taste like the FA's? What do you guys think?
Following the FA/FFA workshop, I attended a diversity workshop focused on how to get other kinds of people to join NAAFA and participate in our events. I liked the workshop because it was goal-oriented and involved us breaking into small groups and working together. Being randomly paired with some of the NAAFA members (including the chair of the board) helped me get to know more people than my convention clique as it were, and get to throw some ideas out there. Some of the material we discussed is already in the works!
Saturday night meant it was time for the fashion show. It was a great experience getting to model! What a thrill to do my big, fat turn on the catwalk, to the screaming NAAFA members, and in a VERY expensive dress by the designer Toula. I also modeled for Ashaki Charles designs, a dress much closer to my own clothing budget. It was so empowering to strut my stuff with all my new friends and help bring in some money for NAAFA by auctioning off some of the pieces. I am hoping that SOMEONE took pictures so that I can post them here (850 dollar dress, how's that for an OOTD?!)
After the auction there was more dancing, including several men and women with limited mobility taking scooters and chairs up to the dance floor so they could join in on the fun! I personally had used up all my moves during the fashion show so I had a nice, quiet talk with a new friend and then went to the pool party.
The last time I'd worn a two-piece bathing suit was probably my 4th birthday party so I knew it was time to get a bikini for the conference. It was so much fun to wear what I wanted instead of what I was "supposed to." And it was so nice to be surrounded by supportive people who all told me I looked amazing, instead of telling me how I can minimize myself. It was also really inspiring to see other people, bigger than me, smaller than me, whatever, all wearing their bathing suits proudly and having a blast!
Talk about an empowering day: Discussing sexuality, working with the NAAFA members on diversity ideas, strutting my stuff at a fashion show, watching everyone exercise their right to dance and sporting my two-piece with a bunch of rad fatties! What a day!
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Fat Sex Tip #8- Don't Settle
I was looking through my old journal from the summer when I was 15 and I found this one section that I wanted to share with you:
"What guy would be interested in me? I'm fat, ugly and loud. Even a great sense of humor (and mine is only good, not great) can't make up for that. I guess I was sort of hoping that because no one else in their right mind would like him, might make him settle, but I guess he has one ounce of pride. He deserves better than me anyway."
One moment of introspection in an otherwise pretty boring journal. (As I was reading it I kept wishing I'd written more about myself and less about him, but I was 15 so I guess I wasn't ready for that quite yet.)
Settling. It's what all fat women are expected to do. We're expected to go with whoever will give us a second glance, gay or straight, nice or not-so-nice, into us or using us, it doesn't matter. Someone who stalks you is at least giving you attention, rape becomes a compliment. It has to stop.
Don't settle. Kate Harding and Marianne Kirby talk about this in Lessons from the Fat-o-Sphere, which I finally read last week! "You are not allowed to settle for someone who is not totally crazy about you and your naked body." It can be hard to remember (and I think here is where an "It gets better" campaign for fat teens would come in handy) that once you reach a certain age, people will be interested in you for a variety of different reasons and one reason might impact the way they view the rest of you. There will be people out there who will just like you. You will have another boyfriend if you turn down the guy who won't be seen in public with you. You will get laid again if you turn down the married guy in your office whose "wife just doesn't understand him." You will. There is not one single person who will complete your whole life, there are many who would share your life with you and make you happy. You will find at least one of these people in your lifetime.
Don't settle for bad sex, either. Again, it can be easy to say, "well he's probably the last guy who will ever be interested in me so I'll just not have good sex." No. Don't even think about it. First of all, you have to remember that sex (despite it's being the "most natural thing in the world" hardy-har-har) or being good at sex, is not innate. Every man is different and every woman is different, so you need to communicate with each other and be willing to seek information first. That being said, if you have tried these things (or if he or she is unwilling or unable to talk about or consider them) you need to move on. Bad sex is not your fault if you tried to work on it, even if you are the fat partner. You will get laid again, by someone who knows what they are doing, so don't settle.
Kate and Marianne make an excellent point, however, that it is important to think about what you want and don't want in a partner and be willing to expand your horizons. At first when I read this, I though "so don't settle but remember to settle," but they have a good point. Why do you like only tall men? Because society, the media, They, told you to. Why rule out a short guy automatically? It's the same as him ruling you out because you're fat. It's important to remember that those messages that everyone else is getting (Be thin, white and straight and you're life will be great! Hey that rhymes, I should get into advertising!) you got them for a long time, too. And you internalized them. And you may not realize it but the reason you are only interested in men who make more money than you is because someone else told you that good women want that. It's crap. Give them a chance, but reserve the right to say thanks but no thanks, if they turn out not to be compatible with you sexually, or otherwise.
I can still remember my mother's dismissive laughs when I told her about a guy I liked or that I thought the guy might like me back. I can remember even more clearly the day that I called her to tell her I had started dating the guy who would become my husband.
Me: "Mom, I have good news. I have a boyfriend."
Mom: "What, a real one?"
There is someone (several people in fact) out there for everyone, regardless of if you are fat or thin, have tattoos, wear high-heels, talk with a lisp, have a peg-leg, are crazy about baseball or HATE condiments. You will get laid again if you pass up someone who will treat you wrong. And if you have the confidence to know that and to go after what you want, it will be that much easier for you.
Love,
Mrs. Sprat
"What guy would be interested in me? I'm fat, ugly and loud. Even a great sense of humor (and mine is only good, not great) can't make up for that. I guess I was sort of hoping that because no one else in their right mind would like him, might make him settle, but I guess he has one ounce of pride. He deserves better than me anyway."
One moment of introspection in an otherwise pretty boring journal. (As I was reading it I kept wishing I'd written more about myself and less about him, but I was 15 so I guess I wasn't ready for that quite yet.)
Settling. It's what all fat women are expected to do. We're expected to go with whoever will give us a second glance, gay or straight, nice or not-so-nice, into us or using us, it doesn't matter. Someone who stalks you is at least giving you attention, rape becomes a compliment. It has to stop.
Don't settle. Kate Harding and Marianne Kirby talk about this in Lessons from the Fat-o-Sphere, which I finally read last week! "You are not allowed to settle for someone who is not totally crazy about you and your naked body." It can be hard to remember (and I think here is where an "It gets better" campaign for fat teens would come in handy) that once you reach a certain age, people will be interested in you for a variety of different reasons and one reason might impact the way they view the rest of you. There will be people out there who will just like you. You will have another boyfriend if you turn down the guy who won't be seen in public with you. You will get laid again if you turn down the married guy in your office whose "wife just doesn't understand him." You will. There is not one single person who will complete your whole life, there are many who would share your life with you and make you happy. You will find at least one of these people in your lifetime.
Don't settle for bad sex, either. Again, it can be easy to say, "well he's probably the last guy who will ever be interested in me so I'll just not have good sex." No. Don't even think about it. First of all, you have to remember that sex (despite it's being the "most natural thing in the world" hardy-har-har) or being good at sex, is not innate. Every man is different and every woman is different, so you need to communicate with each other and be willing to seek information first. That being said, if you have tried these things (or if he or she is unwilling or unable to talk about or consider them) you need to move on. Bad sex is not your fault if you tried to work on it, even if you are the fat partner. You will get laid again, by someone who knows what they are doing, so don't settle.
Kate and Marianne make an excellent point, however, that it is important to think about what you want and don't want in a partner and be willing to expand your horizons. At first when I read this, I though "so don't settle but remember to settle," but they have a good point. Why do you like only tall men? Because society, the media, They, told you to. Why rule out a short guy automatically? It's the same as him ruling you out because you're fat. It's important to remember that those messages that everyone else is getting (Be thin, white and straight and you're life will be great! Hey that rhymes, I should get into advertising!) you got them for a long time, too. And you internalized them. And you may not realize it but the reason you are only interested in men who make more money than you is because someone else told you that good women want that. It's crap. Give them a chance, but reserve the right to say thanks but no thanks, if they turn out not to be compatible with you sexually, or otherwise.
I can still remember my mother's dismissive laughs when I told her about a guy I liked or that I thought the guy might like me back. I can remember even more clearly the day that I called her to tell her I had started dating the guy who would become my husband.
Me: "Mom, I have good news. I have a boyfriend."
Mom: "What, a real one?"
There is someone (several people in fact) out there for everyone, regardless of if you are fat or thin, have tattoos, wear high-heels, talk with a lisp, have a peg-leg, are crazy about baseball or HATE condiments. You will get laid again if you pass up someone who will treat you wrong. And if you have the confidence to know that and to go after what you want, it will be that much easier for you.
Love,
Mrs. Sprat
Friday, March 25, 2011
Fat Fashion Friday 6
Cardigan- Old Navy
Dress/Leggings- Old Navy Plus
Shoes- Target
I decided I should start differentiating between Old Navy bought in the store and Old Navy plus bought online. ON goes up to a size 20 in the store and an XXL. Online they have sizes 16-30 or 4X. I personally vary a lot, but I generally can wear 16 in their pants XL, XXL or 1X in their shirts and dresses so I shop both frequently. This dress is a 1X and the cardi is an XXL. Anyway, it's a great dress, nice comfortable jersey with pretty flowers on the bottom! It's the kind of dress Old Navy is great for, so comfy you could sleep in it, but pretty enough that you look and feel great. Here's one without the cardi, yay for my right to bare arms!
Have a great weekend everyone!
Love,
Mrs. Sprat
Monday, March 21, 2011
Thank You
Yesterday, Mr. Sprat and I bought bicycles. I haven't ridden a bike since high school, so that was about six years ago. And that time it was only to move the bikes from one house to another, four blocks. I barely made it. My thighs ached and I could barely keep peddling by the time we got there. Since then, my husband and I have talked about getting bikes and my response was always kind of ambivalent. Maybe we could rent them, I would say. I remembered how bad it felt to not be able to make it four blocks. All I could think was how difficult it had been and how much I didn't want to own something that was "for exercising."
Then I saw this post while I was going back through Fat Heffalump's blog. And I thought to myself, that is the cutest bike I've ever seen! And then I thought, I want to ride again. It got to the point where all I could think about was getting a bike. So yesterday for the first day of spring we went and bought bikes.
We weren't originally planning on buying them just yet so when we got out to the car, we didn't really have a plan on how to get them home. Of course, they wouldn't fit in the car, nothing fits in our trunk, seriously. We don't live too far from the Kmart where we got them so Mr. Sprat suggested we ride them home. I wasn't sure. Honestly, I wasn't sure I'd even remember how to ride, let alone make it a couple of miles home. But as he was trying fruitlessly to get them in the car, I pushed myself off. After a little wobbling, I started doing circles around the parked cars. I was flying. My legs didn't hurt, I didn't fall off or break the bike, everything was smooth and perfect. So we rode the bikes home. And yeah, I had to stop a couple of times. And yes, my butt is sore today, but I did it. And now I have a bike again!
Today, it rained most of the day and I was crushed because I wanted to go ride again. I felt like a kid, who wanted to go out and play, something I rarely even experienced as a child. And so I just wanted to say thank you, to the entire Fat Acceptance community and to Fat Heffalump especially, for giving me the confidence to ride my bike again, for the pure fun of it. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Love,
Mrs. Sprat
Then I saw this post while I was going back through Fat Heffalump's blog. And I thought to myself, that is the cutest bike I've ever seen! And then I thought, I want to ride again. It got to the point where all I could think about was getting a bike. So yesterday for the first day of spring we went and bought bikes.
We weren't originally planning on buying them just yet so when we got out to the car, we didn't really have a plan on how to get them home. Of course, they wouldn't fit in the car, nothing fits in our trunk, seriously. We don't live too far from the Kmart where we got them so Mr. Sprat suggested we ride them home. I wasn't sure. Honestly, I wasn't sure I'd even remember how to ride, let alone make it a couple of miles home. But as he was trying fruitlessly to get them in the car, I pushed myself off. After a little wobbling, I started doing circles around the parked cars. I was flying. My legs didn't hurt, I didn't fall off or break the bike, everything was smooth and perfect. So we rode the bikes home. And yeah, I had to stop a couple of times. And yes, my butt is sore today, but I did it. And now I have a bike again!
Today, it rained most of the day and I was crushed because I wanted to go ride again. I felt like a kid, who wanted to go out and play, something I rarely even experienced as a child. And so I just wanted to say thank you, to the entire Fat Acceptance community and to Fat Heffalump especially, for giving me the confidence to ride my bike again, for the pure fun of it. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Love,
Mrs. Sprat
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