First, I want to thank everyone for sticking with me through my Know Your Vulva series. For many, it may not seem like a big deal, but it is a huge issue for me so I wanted to put it out there for everyone. Now that we know our vulvas it's time to get back to putting them in good use.
Masturbation!
Masturbation is great because it: Relieves stress, is not a huge time commitment, helps you learn what you like and is just plain fun. There are a lot of people out there think that masturbation is just something you do until you get a partner, but there's no reason to stop then. Sometimes he or she might not be around or in the mood, or sometimes YOU JUST WANT ALONE TIME. That's perfectly natural. In a relationship with open communication it should be fine to say "hey I want to have some "me" sex."
For fatties, there can be some obstacles to "traditional" masturbation, but there are many ways to jack it, so have no fear! I personal lay on my back, and reach my arm around the side of my stomach to the clitoris. However, I'm sure there are some men and women out there who maybe can't reach or get the right angle that way. One thing you can do is use a toy that has a handle, thereby giving you an extra few inches, so to speak. I have one vibrator that is like your basic bullet vibe, but it is on a long coil. You can bend the coil until it reaches your clitoris but be able to just rest your hand higher on the thigh or even belly. Also, get creative! You don't need to spend money on vibrators. Try electric toothbrushes (wash before using them for their "intended" purpose). Water massagers can be great! Lay in the tub with your feet planted on the wall of the bathtub then angle the water so it hits your clitoris, labia, vagina, whatever you like. Or just run the faucet.
Also, we tend to think that there is only one position for masturbation. Experiment. Try standing in the shower, if you don't fit right or feel comfortable in the tub. Try laying on your stomach or side. I've even masturbated doggie-style: Prop yourself up with some pillows and reach yourself that way. Sitting straight up in a chair or against pillows on the bed might work too.
Guys out there, don't think I've forgotten you in a sea of vulvas and vibrators. There are many mens toys out there that can help fat men as well. The Fleshlight immediately comes to mind, but also, don't rule out vibrators, they can feel great for men as well. Vibrating cockrings can provide some interesting sensations and even that water massager aimed at your perineum (grundle or taint) or testicles or anus can really provide a lot of stimulation. If you have trouble reaching or providing enough thrust, try "humping" something, like the edge of the bed or a pillow. Ladies: That goes for you too, a lot of women hump to achieve orgasm, just because it doesn't seem ladylike is no reason not to try it.
A lot of times, once we find one thing that works for us we stick to it. Why be disappointed, right? But there are many ways to masturbate and as our bodies grow and age and change, different techniques work differently. What do you all do? Do you find that you have different needs because your fat? Tell me about them!
Also, for further reading check out Notblueatall's TMI Tuesday about Masturbation.
Happy Humping!
~Mrs. Sprat
Showing posts with label women. Show all posts
Showing posts with label women. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Know Your Vulva Part 3: Labiaplasty
Negative messages about women's body come from everywhere. As we've seen, our mothers tell us our body is dirty and then society denies our vulvas even exist. On TV (and in porn) women are portrayed as having a smooth line in bathing suits and skimpy outfits, there is nothing else "down there."
The medical industry does nothing to refute these claims. In fact they capitalize on them. Plastic surgeons have a long history with exploiting or even creating medical disorders to promote surgeries. When there was some question as to the safety of breast implants, doctors invented a disease called "micromastia" claiming that many women suffered from it and that implants were the cure. Suddenly a ton of women who simply had small breasts now had a medical disease. (Sound familiar? Remember when BMI suddenly made everyone obese?)
Labiaplasty is a relatively new surgery in which the inner labia are cut down. Again, doctors use the concept of "normal" to justify the surgery saying that inner labia that extend past the outer are "not necessary." Furthermore, since female genitals are described as an absence, long inner lips can be seen as being masculine. Anything that juts out or is bumpy is somehow wrong (unless it's breasts or butts.) There are other types of genital surgery including sewing up of the hymen and other "vaginal rejuvenation." Labiaplasty is the fastest-growing plastic surgery in the US today. This means that while other plastic surgeries are currently being performed more frequently, the number of labiaplasties is steadily rising.
As with any genital surgery, there are many risks. The labia are very sensitive to pleasure, in fact the legs of the clitoris are located underneath the labia minora. Cutting them off can cause a loss of pleasure, painful intercourse, among other problems. The really unfortunate part is that the surgery does nothing to correct the real problem and many women continue to be dissatisfied after the surgery. One study found that two of the 16 women they talked with had a second surgery to further "correct the problem." The real problem is body image, and no surgery in the world can correct that.
As a side note, Female genital mutilation is often talked about as being such a horrible, barbaric procedure. (For those who don't know, it is practiced in Africa among other places and involves cutting all the external genitalia off of young girls.) There are charitable organizations here in the US that try to go into Africa and stop the procedure. While I do agree that it shouldn't be done, I think we need to take a hard look at what we do here in the United States.
Some would argue that the girls in Africa have no choice and that women here have a choice. But if we are constantly being manipulated by our parents, teachers, doctors, the media and society as a whole then what kind of choice is that? It is the same as being told that lap-band surgery is a choice. If we do not have all the information, it is no choice at all.
Up Next: Know Your Vulva: What Can We Do?
The medical industry does nothing to refute these claims. In fact they capitalize on them. Plastic surgeons have a long history with exploiting or even creating medical disorders to promote surgeries. When there was some question as to the safety of breast implants, doctors invented a disease called "micromastia" claiming that many women suffered from it and that implants were the cure. Suddenly a ton of women who simply had small breasts now had a medical disease. (Sound familiar? Remember when BMI suddenly made everyone obese?)
Labiaplasty is a relatively new surgery in which the inner labia are cut down. Again, doctors use the concept of "normal" to justify the surgery saying that inner labia that extend past the outer are "not necessary." Furthermore, since female genitals are described as an absence, long inner lips can be seen as being masculine. Anything that juts out or is bumpy is somehow wrong (unless it's breasts or butts.) There are other types of genital surgery including sewing up of the hymen and other "vaginal rejuvenation." Labiaplasty is the fastest-growing plastic surgery in the US today. This means that while other plastic surgeries are currently being performed more frequently, the number of labiaplasties is steadily rising.
As with any genital surgery, there are many risks. The labia are very sensitive to pleasure, in fact the legs of the clitoris are located underneath the labia minora. Cutting them off can cause a loss of pleasure, painful intercourse, among other problems. The really unfortunate part is that the surgery does nothing to correct the real problem and many women continue to be dissatisfied after the surgery. One study found that two of the 16 women they talked with had a second surgery to further "correct the problem." The real problem is body image, and no surgery in the world can correct that.
As a side note, Female genital mutilation is often talked about as being such a horrible, barbaric procedure. (For those who don't know, it is practiced in Africa among other places and involves cutting all the external genitalia off of young girls.) There are charitable organizations here in the US that try to go into Africa and stop the procedure. While I do agree that it shouldn't be done, I think we need to take a hard look at what we do here in the United States.
Some would argue that the girls in Africa have no choice and that women here have a choice. But if we are constantly being manipulated by our parents, teachers, doctors, the media and society as a whole then what kind of choice is that? It is the same as being told that lap-band surgery is a choice. If we do not have all the information, it is no choice at all.
Up Next: Know Your Vulva: What Can We Do?
Monday, February 28, 2011
Know Your Vulva Part 2- The Name Game and Shame
When we are children or teenagers we are taught that boys have a penis. But what are we taught that girls have? The answer is usually a vagina. We are not taught that she has a vulva. We are not taught about the clitoris or the inner or outer lips or the mons, we are taught that we have a hole or two. And that's it.
Our old buddy Sigmund Freud is at least partly responsible for this. The whole Oedipal thing relies on the fear of castration: The idea that men have a penis and women do not. They have nothing. Men are defined as a presence and women as an absence.
How many times have we heard a child say that they had seen a woman's vagina in a locker room? Unless the kid had X-ray specs, she did not a vagina see. Even if the woman was spread eagle with her fingers separating everything, she might have seen the vaginal opening, but that probably did not happen.
Defining women as an absence is a huge problem for women and body image. Anything that is not a hole is considered somehow masculine. So women who have large inner lips for example are considered masculine and imperfect. If we are just supposed to have a hole down there, how do we explain everything else? And if we don't have a name for it, how can we enjoy it?
Education does not help this matter at all. Most people are taught in Sex Education the same thing, that women have vaginas. Many teachers are not allowed to use the word clitoris at all, lest it should encourage exploration. (Or any kind of pleasurable female sexuality, we wouldn't want that now would we?) Diagrams are usually thin, white women with everything "neat" and tucked in. There is no variety, no black vulvas, no fat ones, etc.
So between being yelled at and told we were dirty for touching ourselves when we were children and then being "linguistically castrated" by our teachers, most women start in a very bad place when it comes to vulva body image, heaped on top of the body image problems we suffer in general. However, no fad diets will help with this problem. We must immediately turn to surgery to "correct" this problem.
Next Post: Labiaplasty: The Fastest-Growing Plastic Surgery in the US
Our old buddy Sigmund Freud is at least partly responsible for this. The whole Oedipal thing relies on the fear of castration: The idea that men have a penis and women do not. They have nothing. Men are defined as a presence and women as an absence.
How many times have we heard a child say that they had seen a woman's vagina in a locker room? Unless the kid had X-ray specs, she did not a vagina see. Even if the woman was spread eagle with her fingers separating everything, she might have seen the vaginal opening, but that probably did not happen.
Defining women as an absence is a huge problem for women and body image. Anything that is not a hole is considered somehow masculine. So women who have large inner lips for example are considered masculine and imperfect. If we are just supposed to have a hole down there, how do we explain everything else? And if we don't have a name for it, how can we enjoy it?
Education does not help this matter at all. Most people are taught in Sex Education the same thing, that women have vaginas. Many teachers are not allowed to use the word clitoris at all, lest it should encourage exploration. (Or any kind of pleasurable female sexuality, we wouldn't want that now would we?) Diagrams are usually thin, white women with everything "neat" and tucked in. There is no variety, no black vulvas, no fat ones, etc.
So between being yelled at and told we were dirty for touching ourselves when we were children and then being "linguistically castrated" by our teachers, most women start in a very bad place when it comes to vulva body image, heaped on top of the body image problems we suffer in general. However, no fad diets will help with this problem. We must immediately turn to surgery to "correct" this problem.
Next Post: Labiaplasty: The Fastest-Growing Plastic Surgery in the US
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